Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Too Much Demise in One Week...

First Marcia Wallace, then Lou Reed follow the white light into legend, both icons--if you remember Newhart along with The Simpsons. Lou Reed I discovered in high school, though more powerfully when Duran Duran covered one of his songs.

Even sadder to me, one of my classmates collapsed at a gym and passed away last week--massive heart attack. I didn't know him well but during a party in 2008, I was there with a questionable boyfriend. Said classmate told me I looked amazing and touched my ass while reaching for his drink. It was the most affection I'd gotten in a while so I appreciated it. Five seconds later, he was seriously PDA-ing with his girlfriend. I've spent the last 24 hours reading tributes to him on his FB page. Very sobering, thus lack of attention to the stars.

My update is yesterday's news: Jamie Dornan is the new Christian Grey--another fine casting choice. And if you've seen him play a serial killer on The Fall, you are so excited. He may even be more appropriate than Charlie Hunnam, though not as raw and sexy. More like serial killer/dangerous sexy. He will be an eerie and intense Christian.

There was a seriously stupid public display of cheating between Katherine McPhee and her Smash director, who is married to goddess Mary McCormack, who must be totally pissed. If you don't want pictures taken, don't make out in public, you idiots!

So this went viral. I still sort of think Russell is a jackass. This didn't totally blow my mind but I'll buy into it a little.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

The Rich Elephants in the Room

I can't even address the Kanye/Kim engagement. Okay, I will. 1. I thought they were already engaged. 2. Doesn't this seem like a giant mistake? 3. I hate to admit this since it might be a self-fulfilling prophecy but I felt sick to my stomach when I saw the ring picture and read about Kanye's lavishness. Didn't actually hurl (yet).

Dishreader(s), I don't dislike either of them (sort of think Kanye's a mean douche, but he's yelling all the way to the bank and I respect that). It's just the sameness of it all depressed me. The fanfare. The same people in the news. Can't they give our poor eyes and ears a break?

Or is this all a cosmic joke and I need to step away from the computer?

Lauren Graham Is My New Julia

I didn't stand a chance. To become my new imaginary best friend, the woman unleashed a five-pronged attack:

1. Using ESP, Lauren planted a seed for me to start watching Gilmore Girls, 10 years after it was popular. Lorelei is infuriating, sweetly manic, gorgeous and hard to get out of the psyche once there.

2. Again, using her powerful telepathic powers, Lauren programmed me to consider her performance in Parenthood, a newer program where she plays a Lorelei-esque character (I forget the name, but somehow she and the most annoying person to me--Ray Romano--have this hot on-screen chemistry. Now RR appeals to this former-hater #laurenpower).

3. This prompted me to remember that her real-life boyfriend is Peter Krause, TG's same-sex crush (it's not sexual, just man-love) from Six Feet Under, who plays her brother on Parenthood.

4. Her book, Someday, Someday, Maybe, came out recently-ish and because Dish is intensely lazy, ordered it on audiotape to listen to at bedtime. Do I dare admit, there's nothing better than listening to Lauren as you go to Lily White's Party (my parents' lie to get me to sleep). Her story is pretty good, my subconscious reports.

5. In doing this math, I deem her a delight. Plus, she's older than I am and looks like Wonder Woman, which means I love her.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Hannibal Hearts Walter White!

Anthony Hopkins has such an actor crush on Bryan Cranston and wrote him a fan letter. Of course, Bryan probably pissed his pants and sharted because that's what I would do if Tony wrote to me. This email is so adorable and very gushy, sort of like what I wrote to Russell Crowe in 1998 after seeing The Insider.

Had a lovely dinner with awesomeDishfriend and we gossiped about Hugh Jackman, Parenthood, who Rachel Weisz dated before James Bond, who James Bond dated before Rachel, etc... The important stuff. Along with profiterole.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Run, Don't Walk to See "Betrayal" on Broadway

I lost my mind on my Dish-writing hiatus this past spring: I stopped caring about tabloid stories. Imagine my chagrin. Am I depressed? Who am I but a lover of star trash? As it turns out, by investing in a worthwhile cause, I extracted myself from worthless causes, i.e. the Lindsays, the Parises, the Britneys and the Kardashians as portrayed by the media. My time on TMZ greatly diminished, I felt/feel a little empty. How else to fill this space?

To begin, I've started reading again--like, good books, studying sales numbers from week to week. I'm not sure why. Then I watch writers talk about their writing and they've become my new tabloid (they're not as pretty but they at least can form sentences). Talking to people more helps ease my star-gazing withdrawal. It's been a 45-year addiction so I still have to look if the Jenners split up or Charlie pulls out of Fifty Shades (proof that film already in trouble).

A couple months ago, I bought a ticket to see Betrayal purely because am obsessed with the Daniel Craig/Rachel Weisz marriage, like do they emit hot chemisty sparks between them on stage? I almost blew it off because, as I say above, I stopped caring about the stars. A friend urged me to reconsider, that I'd miss something great (i.e. the play itself and Daniel Craig on stage). Dishreaders, I am so glad I pulled myself together this past Friday. One should never miss this play or James Bond doing theater. What a pleasure--the cast, a Pinter play. My faith in some celebrities, literature, and pop culture has been renewed.

TG and I are going to see the hot Cherry Jones and Spock in The Glass Menagerie. Dish is a Tennessee Williams virgin and preparing to be thoroughly mind-f*cked.

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

It's True, I've Become Very Lazy

But then, Breaking Bad was pretty awesome (though Dish predicted ending for this too). Walter White was such an innovator and a destroyer.

So Amanda Bynes has been diagnosed with the Skitz and the Bipolar, which I find really sad. I mean, she's going to need care for the rest of her life. How did this happen? Was she ill from birth?

Angelina might be wearing a wedding ring. Do we care at all? As far as I'm concerned, no one's getting hitched, not Brangelina, not Anistroux.

Michelle Rodriguez has come out as bi--big deal. I'm hetero, but with a few drinks or Jane Lynch on TV, I'm above the waist gay as long as I don't have to touch anything. Oh god, I'm completely straight. So straight and square (though Jane Lynch is my crush).

Today's big news, that Mia Farrow's brilliant son Ronan was sired by Frank Sinatra. Wouldn't that be neat? I follow Ronan's tweets. He's sharp as a tack.

And now for more brilliance and an inspirational video about work ethic.I'm totally going to take Britney's directive.

After a family meeting between Dishbrother and myself, we've decided on this cast for the movie version of my true Hollywood story. Our dream list.

For TG: