Poor Bachelorette, Poor Unemployed Selma, Poor Nigella!

Really, the batch of suitors for Dez is seriously sad. I mean, not a drop of testosterone except for the army guy. They're all so emotional with "I've got a kid" or "I have diabetes" or "I've been abandoned and it hurts." Yeah? Me too, I've got mild IBS problems! They don't ask much about what she's thinking or feeling. It's incredibly blah and I don't want her with any of these guys. Maybe one will show his true colors.

That Charlie Sheen is a career killer! Romantic comedy vixen Selma Blair allegedly complained about Sheen's work ethic and CS had her fired. Wowzers. I think this is how fascism starts. Selma will go to a better place because Anger Management sucks. Sheen was fun to watch twenty-five years ago...Selma is fun NOW.

More misogyny--luscious Nigella Lawson was the unfortunate victim of her husband's alleged playful choking her and making her cry. Now I know what I want for my birthday! (leave him, N'ella)

Where Did the Time Go?

I am under the influence of a lovely evening with family and now Ambien, so please forgive my ramblings. Did not watch Bachelorette or The Killing, but did catch Army Wives, Season Seven, Episode 1, 2, 3, which blow without Kim Delaney. You can almost feel the secret laughing over mourning Kim's character's death, like Catherine Bell would really like to say, "I'm so glad that drunk b*tch is gone so I can be queen!" That was unkind, Dish.

And now to do The NYT Crossword puzzle under the influence.

The Stars Are Quiet

Now that the Kardashian baby is born, we can all go home and resume our lives. After a busy day yesterday, Dish drank 1/2 a beer and then had a hangover all day today. Isn't that sad? Seriously, I was downing aspirin, squinting at all light above dim, and telling TG to stop screaming. What does Sam Adams put in its magical brew? Oh, alcohol.

Happy Father's Day--not my favorite day but a special hats off to my rockin' uncles and amazing dad cousins. My father this year is George Jetson.

Now for dirt, RHoOC spitfire Tamra married Eddie (I thought he was gay). Vicki and Heather were bridesmaids, but what about Gretchen? I thought they were besties. The truth will reveal itself this season. Gretch and Tamra didn't click so much in Mexico.

Kim Khad a Kbaby Kgirl!

Kim allegedly delivered 5 weeks early, but Dish is wise to the stars' pregnancy tactics. I think she had her baby only a week early because the stars always say a month later so as to avoid the paps storming the hospital on the real due date. Kudos to the Kappy Kouple! Wouldn't it be cool if they named her Lucy? Using Dish's formula, Duchess Kate will deliver any second now.

Now, I have an overdue sighting from May 29th from Dishbrothersidekick. He writes:

"Dean Winters, who played Ryan O'Reily in OZ. I saw him today, walking his bike through the crowd at the Union Sq Farmer's Market, around 5:30pm. He looks a bit more rugged since his days in OZ and has a few lines around the eyes, but still looks very handsome and flashed a beautiful sexy smile." He's the guy we now know from the Geico commercials (which TG enjoys over and over).

Who's seen the new Superman? I'm hearing that it blows.

Rumor that Amanda Bynes is faking her craziness. I knew it!!! So now, let's stop giving her attention.

Broken Ties and New Beginnings

I promised I'd never write about her again, but how could I not document the decay of modern society: that Lindsay has changed rehabs, allegedly because she's a giant pain in the ass? There's no end to this tropical storm.

Now that Rupert Murdoch is single again--dropping his bag-of-old-bones-at-44 wife--maybe he's the perfect solution for Lindsay...or perhaps Billy Ray Cyrus, since he's allegedly single again. So many delectable saggy-jowled possibilities.

I watched Jon Tenney's latest show King & Maxwell. Out of devotion to Tenney's career, I should be kind, but I can't. It kinda sucks. I love JT and Rebecca Romijn. Alas, they just have no chemistry because I don't think JT even showered. Of course, Romijn is gorgeous but restrained from her usual perky energy. She rows to work (bitch!) and then takes a shower in the "office" in front of JT (I do that, too, at work. I want everyone to see). There was a mistake, too. Someone said, "None have been..." and that's wrong! At least Ope from SOA is on it and he plays a Rain Man savant who's accused of serial killing but is really a sweetie. The worst part is the explainy-explainy that happens between law enforcement and the villain: So after killing that Walmart cashier, you used a bar of soap, knowing you left a hair on it that the FBI then later ran through its system. But we found the shallow graves...and your box of Lucky Charms." Blech. Of course...I must keep watching.

Star Sighting--Brian d'Arcy James!!!

6/11/13--8:05pm on 12th and 7th, TG and I were going toward a barbecue place when Debra Messing's cuckolded ex from Smash walked past us. I said nothing to TG because he goes after the stars immediately to chat them up, as if they are nobodies. BdJ was on a mission--looking spiffy for an evening out. Once the star was a safe distance, I told TG who glanced around frantically, "Where did he go?" Trouble averted. Though, really, the stars would enjoy TG immensely (because he doesn't care about them: Sandra, Julia, Nicole=all the same person to him).*

My disclaimer: I have no facts about these people but here's what I think is happening about these news items. It's idle conjecture:

Everywhere is posting about Kanye allegedly cheating on Kim with some lookalike Kanadian Kim. Dish thinks it's total BS! First of all, Kan-Kim could be wanting her 15 minutes (but how boring), but it could be to cover up the Real Story. Dish has maintained all along that the Kimye relationship is manufactured. This "cheating" is the drama that could help end their fake relationship.

More conjecture: The Aniston-I forget his name wedding keeps getting postponed allegedly. And there is the rumor that she's pregnant and keeping things relaxed, wedding later. More BS. I always think the long engagements are a delaying tactic for breaking up in the celeb world. Though who knows--certainly not moi.

The new Princess Diana trailer. Eerie. Keep the camera far away to avoid that Naomi is about 8 years older than Diana when she died. That's like 20 years in Hollywood. But I don't care--I loved her in that Cholera movie.

*Come to think of it, maybe it wasn't BdJ at all.

Happy Birthday to TG!

My angel turns a year closer to 50 but we don't dwell on it. He's still The Man.

Rain and Divorce

After the high from the Tony Awards, I read that my girl crush Jane Lynch is getting divorced. This makes me so incredibly sad. I know it happens, but why?

So I turned to my tabloids for comfort. I've come to the conclusion that TMZ is no longer a viable celebrity entertainment site. They write only about Justin Bieber, car accidents, athletes who beat up their spouses and stars who OD. It's a depressing place. Radaronline has made a deal with the devil and now makes you watch an ad. No more. Where can I read my filth? For the truth, I consult Dlisted.com. For fluff, the Post, People and US Magazine in print. If I want high brow, the HuffPo celebrity section.

Sadness.