Wednesday, January 09, 2008

First Hillary Dream of 2008

My subconscious is working overtime. Lucky for all of us, I'm not dreaming about Britney. I'm sick to death of her so no more words devoted to that topic. After hours of CNN coverage of the New Hampshire primaries, I unclenched my jaw to celebrate Hillary's surprise victory last night. I don't care what tactics she needs to use (tears, groans, stomach clutching, boob-flashing) to win, I want her in office. When the sh*t goes down, I know she has the hairy steel cojones to take care of the little people (i.e. me). I like Obama, too, just not as much as Hill.

Here's the dream.

I mistakently flew to Los Angeles six months too early. I checked into my hotel, got ready for my business meeting, then realized I made a huge error. Not fun since we all know it takes a crowbar and strong threats to get me onto a plane. I wondered if BF would join me, but of course, he wouldn't. I was too early. I made the mental preparations to jet home.

Switch to: City Hall in New York City. It's night, the stars are out and I'm wearing the rare formal business suit. I look very Hillary in that sense. Just as I'm about to walk home, I see Hillary walking near me, unguarded, alone. I approach her and praise her work. She smiles and we start a conversation. I wind up walking her to her next function. Of course, I do some butt-kissing because she might be president and I see the human side of her. Are you barfing yet? I know it's a total wish fulfillment dream. It was nice while it lasted. The point is: Hillary and I bonded. I woke up feeling slightly lesbionic, though Hill could have represented my mother, to whom I am close.

Reading Gloria Steinem's Op Ed piece in the New York Times today only affirmed that I'm moving in the right political direction for me. Maybe Gloria will appear in tonight's dream to feed me a magic potion, taking away all stress.

Friday, January 04, 2008

First Tom Cruise Dream of 2008

It's officially the start of a new year since my subconscious has delivered another Tom Cruise message. Again, I don't ask for these dreams. This one came circa 6 a.m. In it, I was waiting in a coffee shop for *someone*. No sooner do I chug my half mocha cara-latte than Katie Holmes wafts over to my table. She's laughing, she's tall, she's the person everyone wants to befriend. There is no Suri, no Tom (though it's really Tom by marriage)--just two girls chatting over coffee. Was this my official welcome? Is she implying that Jesus will appear later? Who knows. The dream was so benign I fell back to sleep, which is usually a hardship for me. Thank you, Katie. Sniff.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Celebrity Resolutions 2008

This year, Dish will do the following:
1. Stop feeding into negative publicity about celebrities (Already cackling over Pamela Anderson's impending divorce and Lohan's leap off the wagon into drunk make-out land).
2. Read inspirational news and ignore Britney (Checked five times in the last hour).

3. Avoid sugar (except for that piece of See's candy lingering on desk, more appetizing than month-old, frozen over dulce de leche ice cream).

4. Run even when dead tired (Done--except tonight felt gassy by the third mile so retreated from jungle of treadmills. Mistakenly ate garlic at lunch).
5. Support stars who support causes (meditated tonight and thought of Richard Gere, which totally screwed up my trance).

6. Stop watching movies dominated by a cast of craggy white men (exception: Space Cowbows).
7. Don't be shocked and bitter when you hear of stars who've had plastic surgery (i.e. Shirley MacLaine, whom Dish loves).
8. Be nicer to cat who could be Laurence Olivier reincarnated (he's sitting in the corner eating his butt).