Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Promos for True Blood keep surfacing and I gave up on the show last season. All they did was glare and look sweaty. No one except for the gay cook interested me, though Dishcolleague's love for Alex Skarsbar and the bearded werewolf make me want to see what the fuss is about. My favorite castmember, Jessica Tuck as Vampire Nan, hasn't gotten enough airtime, but I read she'll be on a lot more this coming season. Now that would make me watch...
On an unrelated topic, is anyone watching The Real L Word, which premieres this Sunday? Yeah, me neither.
In the vein of sexuality issues, Dish finally watched Becoming Chaz. Since I grew up watching Chastity Bono in the arms of her AWESOME parents ON TV (How many of you wore a towel on your head to mimic Cher? Yeah, me neither), I resented her whining about not feeling good about herself. With the announcement of her changing genders, I thought, Gosh, another thing for this poor-offspring-of-celebrities to be miserable about in public. This documentary put her struggle into more perspective for me. I can't imagine the pain of living in the wrong body and hope Chaz is finally happy. Her girlfriend was very entertaining, kind of like Chaz's mother....
We're all just a big wonderful mess, aren't we?
Just for today, let's all just be nice. Celebrate later with a G&T--or a delicious Red Bull if you're under 21.
Monday, May 30, 2011
As you know, TG has a special place in his heart for Snooki. She's the daughter he's always wanted. Wait till he finds out she was taken into custody in Florence for crashing into a police car! Too many gelato shots, Snooks?
Dishbrotherinlaw reports that Hangover 2 is the same as Hangover 1 except set in Thailand. Worth a rent but not 13$. He thought Bridesmaids merited the price of admission.
As you pray for our troops on this day, please remember our little trooper, Simon Le Bon, whose ailing vocal chords have forced Duran Duran to cancel many shows. Must Dish wait even longer for them to come to NYC?
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Was this your day? C'mon, fess up!!!
Speaking of stink, I finally caught the finale of Glee filmed in NYC. As HersheyKiss might attest, it didn't have enough Darren Criss, not enough Sue, not enough Wow. The show is top-heavy with soulful, corny ballads. Loved the Finn/Rachel moments, though, and hope these kids have sex next season. I didn't believe the Patti LuPone cameo for a second--though I love PLP to death. I doubt that diva would ever say something so motivational to a complete stranger. In fact, she didn't relay such you-go-girl fare to Dishbrother when he met her and gushed his teenage heart out! Dish can't forgive.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
No big news today other than Dishbrother saying that Julia and I have the same stooped posture. So nice of him!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Lindsay Lohan's first day of house arrest. Life is so harrrrrd! In grossness, JLo's first husband won a lawsuit that his girlfriend can release video of him and J.Lo when they were married. Talk about bottom-feeder! First of all, it's stupid to make those kinds of tapes because they always leak. Secondly, you have no class if you release them when your day in the sun was 13 years ago. I hope he goes to hell.
This is a sad Friday for the family/friends of Jeff Conaway, who passed away. A hickey from Kenickie is like a Hallmark card!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Dish will be watching The Secret Circle this fall and so should you as it looks good and trashy. And who doesn't adore it when Gale plays a royal a-hole? Love also Natasha Henstridge who has been a goddess since Species. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxtzRF8I9uI.
Anthony Lane always writes fabulous reviews in The New Yorker and his review of Terrence Mallick's The Tree of Life does not disappoint. I'm not a bit Pitt fan but this might be inneresting (as my grandmother used to say).
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Depp is awesome (aside from some of his signature tricks)
Gorgeous Venice setting
Hearing Angelina flub her British accent
Angelina looks beautiful in every single frame
Amusing secondary characters: Paul Bettany, Timothy Dalton, Rufus Sewell
Stinky, predictable plot down to the sexy dance they share--and the twist
No chemistry between Jolie and Depp--really none
Jolie can be really good, but this performance seems phoned in. And she's way too skinny, even for a movie. When she's supposed to sashay sexily, she is an adorable gyrating skeleton.
It was not a wasted two hours. In other news, Chris Meloni is out at L&O: SVU. Very sad, but 12 years is a good run. And Kim Kardashian got engaged. Her ring cost 2 million and is allegedly 16.5 carats, emerald cut. I bet it overpowers her hand.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Ps. Hey, Julia, since we're imaginary buds, see below what I'm knitting now in sparkling navy to go with the dress you're wearing in the trailer. Isn't it great? Vanna White sold separately.
Model/Actress Estella Warren was busted for DUI, kicking a cop, then escaping from the police station. I would have loved to see that on tape! It's so sad when you're not in the limelight anymore.
Without warning, just saw Justin Bieber shirtless. And little girls will probably go ape over his scrawny, adolescent chest--the way Dish did over John Taylor's in the "Hungry Like the Wolf" video 28 years ago.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Prince Albert is marrying on July 2nd. Wonder who's forcing him into this, although Dish is a strong believer in finding love during one's later stages. Wasn't Prince Albert supposed to be a big womanizer? Well, that doesn't stop the celebs.
Songwriter Joseph Brooks, who penned "You light up my life" committed suicide yesterday and, boy, what a troubled
I totally missed Billboard Music Awards. Will Hulu it. Heard Britney was just fine.
Oh, and be sure you're not missing a crucial slide for your presentation--double check your work. It's a Monday.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
As HuffPo says, the greatest marriage proposal ever: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/20/the-greatest-marriage-proposal-ever-video_n_864623.html--though my favorite is my own!
Very thin Sara Rue just got married, Beyonce honored again, Russell Brand deported from Japan (maybe for being slightly annoying but endearing on the whole) and Pirates of the Carribean smashes all international opening weekends. Would rather keep my vision of Johnny and Penelope as they were together in Blow.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
TG and I just watched I Love You, Phillip Morris. Absolutely hysterical. If you've ever lost faith in Jim Carrey's movie choices, you'll get it back here. I didn't realize it was based on a true story. This is a fun and reckless romp with over-the-top Carrey and darling Ewan MacGregor whose performance, according to the real Phillip Morris, is dead on.
And now, Dish must away. Gaga and JT on SNL!
Friday, May 20, 2011
A little disappointing is this interview with Dish-favorite-since-2005 Gale Harold. http://www.zap2it.com/videobeta/9610544b-69df-44b3-8de9-4c493b5ffbcb/Entertainment/Fall-TV-2011-The-Secret-Circle-s-Gale-Harold. Maybe it's just Brian Kinney that I love. GH is being a tw*t to this reporter who is just doing her job. This is why I never want to meet stars in person!
Sad news is that Ginnifer Goodwin and fiancé broke up after short engagement. Sometimes getting to know a person isn't as fun as it should be. At least she didn't walk down the aisle!
If you know who Michael Bolton is (though someone in Dish household doesn't), don't miss this hilariousness where MB hijacks a music video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI6CfKcMhjY. Love him!
By the way, are you in a blissful beginning part of a relationship? This 3 cups dosage goes double for you. But don't put out completely. Okay, do. It's supposed to be the end of the world on Saturday anyway.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Just saw photos of Julia and Tom Hanks showing off upcoming Larry Crowne, a romantic comedy where Tom goes to community college and falls for Julia, his teacher. I wonder what she's teaching. Will they make out on screen? Dear God, will they be in the sack? These are things I can't bear, like seeing Obama in a bathing suit. Some celebrity flesh should never be seen.
Prayers for Jeff Conaway who, according to several sources, ODed on painkillers last week and is in a coma. Lots of celebrity comas this week. Very sad. Dish is going into her own coma--a coma of excellence.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Just watched last night's Glee and it made me cry buckets. Jane Lynch is not only a hot, mean mama, but she is a real actress.
Pray for Zsa Zsa Gabor who is in a coma--and, of course, Simon Le Bon who has been struck down by laryngitis (a sexy affliction--Dish had it and sounded like Lauren Bacall with laryngitis) and SHOWS WERE CANCELED.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Arnold puts his weiner in a foreign body and fathered a secret baby, seemingly one catalyst for the colossal marital breakup. How did this stay secret for so long? I feel so horrible for the secret child who will no doubt be discovered and ripped to shreds. In true Phoenix from the ashes style, Maria Shriver is a sought-after commodity for the networks. Arnold has nowhere to go but down (his pants) though his career will be resurrected in no time. America is incredibly forgiving of philanderers who humiliate their spouses in crazy fashion.
Potential new couples: Leonardo DiCaprio and Blake Lively--a relief! Every time I think of Leo without a willowy blond, my knees get a little shaky; Justin Timberlake and Olivia Wilde, which neither offends nor exhilarates me.
Prayers go out to Simon Le Bon who has a throat infection.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Bienvenue, Mr. Fabuleux! CNN anchor Don Lemon est Out and fiere. Il y avait un blind item a week ago de ce sujet, mais je thoughtay que le gay anchor would be le Silver Fox qui cohost avec Kathy Griffin. Mais je suis happy que Don feel confortable de sortir du closet.
Mr. Rouge-Quelque-Chose-Sur-His-Head Trump ne run pas pour President. Je suis sad because je wanted to see him fair un fool of himself.
J.J., I salute you.
The Magician: You have a dream. Well, today, you'll see yourself achieving it. On this Monday, you are the woman in every tampon commercial: full of confidence, take-charge chutzpah and wildly creative. Nothing will stop you, not even that special female time or your favorite team losing the big game. I'd even say you come close to celebrity status.
And call me Katharine.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
But I do have time for declarations: Weeds has jumped the shark. You can only go so far with a Mary Jane scenario and I've come to loathe Nancy Botwin with her ice-coffee swizzling. No redemption. Real Housewives of New York City: Is Ramona acting? Wonder if they'll address her obvious alcoholism in a future episode. Must be fun to play that crazy on TV--and look great doing it. Is Jennifer Love Hewitt in talks to replace Mariska in L&O: SVU after she leaves? I'm sure there will be fierce backlash, but oddly enough, Dish is a fan of J. Love.
Recovering from a long, really fun weekend.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
As TG and I left the the hotel, someone was unpacking a van full of boxes marked, "L. Ron Hubbard." Do I dare to dream a Scientology conference might be taking place nearby?
Celeb news: Tom Sizemore's GF has been found and Jenna Fischer is pregs.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Wonder Woman was not picked up--not a surprise since the suit would have brought about too many jokes. Brothers & Sisters has been canceled. Can we say Amen? Now something major has to happen on Desperate Housewives. TG and I are ready for the two-hour finale. TG asked, "What are they going to do for two hours?" Oh please, that show is an expert at wasting our m*ther-f*cking time.
Dish's 25th high school reunion starts now.
Totally harmless, though. TGIF!
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Duran Duran Alert! John Taylor and Nick Rhodes are like Confucius, Dr. Freud and Dear Abby rolled into one. http://www.365gay.com/video/ask-the-celebrity-expert-duran-duran-im-afraid-to-move-in-with-my-partner/. Wisdom in under a minute, in-depth psycho-analysis and a personable speaking style. How could you not adore them?
Lindsay Lohan is doing jail time in her house. I have no words.
21,000 bottles Dan Akroyd’s Crystal Head vodka were stolen. Somewhere in the city, J.J. is crying.
Jennifer Aniston has a new penthouse apartment in the Village. Dish knows just where it is and where accidental walk-bys will happen on way to Magnolia Bakery. Welcome to the hood, Jen!
Mary Tyler Moore having brain surgery to remove benign brain tumor. You’re going to make it after all!
Tom Sizemore’s girlfriend has gone missing for the last couple months. Creepy. http://www.tmz.com/2011/05/11/tom-sizemore-megan-wren-disappearance-missing-girlfriend-police-missing-questioned/. Someone needs to make him into the villain in a Lifetime movie.
The Situation’s father has gone bananas publicly. He and Michael Lohan should rent a house together, get some strippers and whine about how important they are and how no one cares about them. Wa wa wa wa.
Rumors of Hugh Grant replacing Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men. Now THAT would make me watch.
In the Words of Bon Jovi, “Have a Nice Day!”
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
So much drama around Star Jones. If she didn’t exist, the world would be duller. I love/hate her, too. She’s gone through hell in her life, but she’s also contributed to that hell. Not sure whose side I’m on in the NeNe feud–probably NeNe. Now, Star’s ex Al Reynold’s wants 50K because she broke their agreement and trash-talked him on TV. I’d do the same thing, Al!
Now let’s talk about knocked up January Jones. The rumor mill is that Michael Fassbender is the babydaddy. Who dat? Did a Google search and he is handsome enough for our January. A very exciting time for her and I hope she keeps mum on the father. Say it’s The Lord. That’s what Dish would do.
Hellcats: I’m putting off watching last night’s episode until I can’t stand it anymore. There should be lots of making out between our Gale and the blonde. Deliciousness! Watch these whores for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57Qiydd0CqM. Is it just Dish or does it seem strange for him to be kissing a woman? My QAF fever hasn’t broken yet. It’s only been 6 years since the show ended…
Broadway Spiderman gets a reboot. Here’s a lifelong secret: I mostly hate Bono and Sting. It’s not politically correct, but I do. I also hate Bob Dylan, the Grateful Dead, Joni Mitchell and Neil Young.* There, I said it. I hear their music and think WTF is that? I hate Bono the most with his groovy sunglasses and highly publicized do-gooder ways, hate Sting less because I actually saw Sting and The Police in concert in 2007. Seeing them live filled me with euphoria, even in the stinky, claustrophobic Giants stadium. Sting’s voice always sounded like a rat’s nails scratching along pipe, but in concert, his singing was akin to hypnotic wind chimes playing in heaven. I’m still a little transported when I hear “Message in a Bottle.”
*I’m sure they hate me too. Or rather they wouldn’t waste the energy. I don’t really hate them, PC Police!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
If you're blue, this will cheer you up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmcA9LIIXWw. Mississippi 1870, bahahaha!
Bill Maher was the type of pinhead in high school I always tried to get to like me, but he never gave me the time of day (thank goodness!). He still makes me laugh so hard: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJRjbALKwBw.
Courtney Love and Michael Pitt dating? At first when I saw the pic, I thought Pitt was Gale (they look a bit similar and acted in the same flickipoo together) and it was too close for comfort. Saw Pitt on the street once and he looked out of it, but sweet.
Bieber hurled between songs during his concert. Celebrity barfing is really difficult for me to imagine or bear.
Monday, May 09, 2011
Whitney Houston is in outpatient rehab, a good alternative since in-house rehab doesn't seem to work for celebs. Whitney, we're ready for a resurrection. Don't let those pipes go to waste.
Nene left Celebrity Apprentice and Trump says she's a quitter. More like a winner for getting away from Mr. Furry-red-bonnet. Just say no to awful people! I don't watch C.A. though enjoyed it a few years ago, in the days when Jesse James seemed to have integrity and was married to Sandra.
Justin Bieber allegedly a "brat" on CSI, which has started a feud with Marg Helgenberger. If I lost my adolescence to superstardom, I might be a brat too. Love Marg! Hope the Bieber fans don't go after her.
Colin Hanks joins the cast of Dexter Season 6. Celeb-spawn are often so worthless, though Dish thinks Colin lives up to his father's hype and makes some very good, careful choices. Here's a trailer for the next season, though it reveals nothing. My butt could have made it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVApgr1Mqto.