Why Do I Keep Buying Nail Polish When I Know I’m Getting My Claws Done in a Salon?

The Brothers & Sisters finale: lame but Dish got misty when Sarah’s father walked her down the aisle. Nice thing for a father to do. And Sarah had TWO fathers. I pretend that my father is Donald Sutherland from Pride & Prejudice. No need to continue with this show unless Dish and J.J. are cast.

So much drama around Star Jones. If she didn’t exist, the world would be duller. I love/hate her, too. She’s gone through hell in her life, but she’s also contributed to that hell. Not sure whose side I’m on in the NeNe feud–probably NeNe. Now, Star’s ex Al Reynold’s wants 50K because she broke their agreement and trash-talked him on TV. I’d do the same thing, Al!

Now let’s talk about knocked up January Jones. The rumor mill is that Michael Fassbender is the babydaddy. Who dat? Did a Google search and he is handsome enough for our January. A very exciting time for her and I hope she keeps mum on the father. Say it’s The Lord. That’s what Dish would do.

Hellcats: I’m putting off watching last night’s episode until I can’t stand it anymore. There should be lots of making out between our Gale and the blonde. Deliciousness! Watch these whores for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57Qiydd0CqM. Is it just Dish or does it seem strange for him to be kissing a woman? My QAF fever hasn’t broken yet. It’s only been 6 years since the show ended…

Broadway Spiderman gets a reboot. Here’s a lifelong secret: I mostly hate Bono and Sting. It’s not politically correct, but I do. I also hate Bob Dylan, the Grateful Dead, Joni Mitchell and Neil Young.* There, I said it. I hear their music and think WTF is that? I hate Bono the most with his groovy sunglasses and highly publicized do-gooder ways, hate Sting less because I actually saw Sting and The Police in concert in 2007. Seeing them live filled me with euphoria, even in the stinky, claustrophobic Giants stadium. Sting’s voice always sounded like a rat’s nails scratching along pipe, but in concert, his singing was akin to hypnotic wind chimes playing in heaven. I’m still a little transported when I hear “Message in a Bottle.”

*I’m sure they hate me too. Or rather they wouldn’t waste the energy. I don’t really hate them, PC Police!