Monday, December 31, 2012

Please Get Better So I Can Vote for You in 4 Years!

I have trouble with faith--though I did have Hope as my lab partner in 7th grade science. I never went to church except with my grandparents. Maybe I dabbled in Christianity (briefly), Buddhism, morethandabbledin Wicca, and, yes, read the Scientology textbook. I would love to pray, but to whom? When I consulted my mentor (aka the fabulous woman who married me and TG) about this recently, she said I should consider praying to the "Great Mystery." I like this, though I've changed this to General Motors General Manager. So, GM, please, please heal Hillary Clinton of her deep vein thrombosis so that she can be President in 4 years!!! That's my New Year's Wish.

I just scandalized Dishmama in calling John Bolton a f*ckhole for what he said about Clinton faking her illness. He must have been on his period to say such a stupid thing.

Today's News: So I Guess KK and Kanye Might Have Done It.

Dish might be too cynical. I thought the Kardashian machine concocted this relationship with Kanye not that I think he's you know not attracted to her in that way in an effort to boost their respective profiles. But it seems that his atonal seed found the environs of her child-bearing hips which could have been done through IVF and now she is carrying one of the most sought-after bebes ever. It's insane. Just when I think I can't be shocked. But still, Dish doesn't feel this will last more than a couple years. Underneath her sisterly love and well wishes, Khloe must be pisssssssed. The Kardashians keep finding more reasons to stay relevantish. Cannot wait to see this televised.

Happy New Year to you all!

Sunday, December 30, 2012

NYE and Shahs of Sunset

I'm trying to go as low as I can before the year ends. Not only was I desperate enough to record The Real Housewives of Miami Reunion show (they are so vile) but I also found a special documentary on Hitler. if needed more juiciness, I'm now officially hooked on Shahs of Sunset. Just seeing Reza, the Big Gay Al of Persia, sniffing a boy's armpits in a club, well, it made me weep with revulsion understanding. Poor TG is hiding in the kitchen with the See's chocolate. But I get a credit because we watched The Watch (his choice), which is one of the worst movies I've seen ever, like if Gigli and Magic Mike had sex, this would be the product--TG giggled all the way through.

New Year's Eve is posing a problem for me. It's my favorite holiday but I don't want to go out. I have to work. Am I lame because I just want to watch Anderson and Kathy? TG is more social so we will probably go to the nearest bar. No subway or bus or taxi for me with all the crazies out on the street.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Star Sighting--Rebel Wilson!!!

At today's matinee of Glengarry Glen Ross, Dishspy Emma Brown--an accomplished circus acrobat, college student, and celebrity-in-training--went to today's performance and snagged this photo of herself with Goddess Rebel of Bridesmaids and Pitch Perfect. I need to stand and do the slow-clap for 3 reasons: 1. That Emma would enjoy a David Mamet play because he tests my adult-ADD. 2. I love Emma's red-orange sweater. 3. That she would be so bold as to get this awesome picture. It's like these two are born to be besties. Thanks, Emma!

Now this is a cool celebrity. No wonder all my colleagues are raving about her.

Friday, December 28, 2012

I'm Seeing Fleetwood Mac in April at MSG!!!

Jealous? If they play this song, I will swoooooooon. Along with their other regulars.

Cannot wait!

A Television Dilemma for the New Year

I already know the answer, but, Dishreaders, I have a problem I'll put out to you, The Universe. Should I watch The Bachelor again premiering on January 7th? I shouldn't but I will for these reasons:

1. Bachelor Sean Lowe looks as if he could be my cousin (on the paternal side), which has an ew factor. BUT I HAVE TO ROOT FOR FAMILY.
2. If I remember correctly, Sean's into Jesus, so I imagine some of the girls will be faking religion, which is a MUST-SEE. Will there be any covert boinking?
3. The cast is more diverse, which makes it politically correct even though the show is basically prostitution, misogynistic and a forum for public humiliation, i.e. read Foucault's Discipline and Punish.
4. I'm going to count how many times someone a. bursts into tears. b. says, "I'm in love with this man." c. says, "This is amazing." and d. says, "It couldn't have gone better."

Some sad news for two of my faves: Britney Spears might be fired from X Factor for allegedly being too boring. Don't you wonder what happened to her? She seems okay now after a rough time in her 20s but Dish still feels she had psychotic break from post-partum, this based on no knowledge of her life or medical background. Katie Holmes's run in Dead Accounts is ending early, at the beginning of January. Despite this, I have so much hope for her future.

The most manly stars--and Rudy Giuliani--always wind up in drag.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Celebrity Crush

TG keeps saying I have celebrity crushes. It's true. Jane Lynch, Daniel Craig, Duran Duran, Julia--to name just a few. My big one these days is Sean Penn who is fabulous in Fair Game with Naomi Watts (another crush). But truth be told, I only love Sean because he is so TG-esque in his looks and manner, especially in this movie (and Fast Times at Ridgemont High).

And now I'm going to watch Fair Game again and pretend that I'm a covert op CIA agent like Naomi. We are so similar.

My Holidays Are All About TV and Cat Puzzles

It's been implied that I'm a monster during the holidays. Hmmm. Well, then. I'll delve more deeply into my escapist entertainment. Here goes:

Episodes: I'm obsessed. Who knew Matt LeBlanc could be so funny? Love the two Brits. You must watch, if only to see how a Hollywood show gets made.

Lincoln: Okay, Daniel Day, you win. You are awesome. You only overact in one scene. I love you again. But I love Tommy Lee Jones even more!!! Dish doesn't think this'll win because it's too literate, i.e. thinky. Steven did not go for the waterworks so much until the end (cue same sh*tty music), which makes me like him again. I predict Lez Miz will win Best Picture because it's sentimental and easy to follow. Sally Field threw a marvelous hissy, so Nora Walker I squealed.

Jack Reacher: Sucks hard. Really hard. I usually enjoy Tom but he is completely miscast as the hulking law enforcer. The freaky villain made me laugh with his wonky eye and creepy villain voice. Luckily, Robert Duvall came in with a blower to get rid of some of the stink. My butt would've written a better script, too. Skip!

Beloved Old Men Leave Us

Forgive me but it's a known fact that when three old men die in such rapid succession, the world is about to end.

It's hard to imagine that Jack Klugman is no longer on the physical plane (i.e. he kicked it). I loved him in The Odd Couple, thinking I was so much like Oscar, when in fact, I am so Felix. Rest in peace, dear Quincy MD!

Charles Durning also died, which seems unconscionable. Remember him from Tootsie? In addition to an illustrious career, he almost got to make out with Dustin Hoffmann.

Just read too that General Norman Schwartzkopf, the big military icon of my early 20s, passed away.

All a big blah.

One Marriage Begins and Another One Ends

Kate Winslet married Ned Rocknroll (give me a break) and Leo gave her away! Isn't that sick? No really, very sweet. This is Kate's third marriage. That happens to people sometimes. My friend *Betsy* loved getting engaged because of the ring. She wound up marrying one guy but it bombed hard. She rebounded two seconds after by marrying someone else, who might have been gay. That ended pretty quickly. Now, many years later, she's single. Oh wait. Different situation entirely. Never mind! So Kate married for the first time immediately after Titanic--I like to think because she secretly loved Leo even though he pissed in the water tank during filming. Then she married a nice, steady on-the-rise director. That fizzled and now she's married someone with a fun name and who's related to Richard Branson. Fun is fun. My best wishes for the happy couple.

If you've been keeping up with your US magazine, Bettheny and Jason are done. I'm crying angry tears that there will be no more Bethenny Ever After and her kicking Jason's ass. I watched the talk show but didn't latch on. She belongs on television, screaming at people.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Happy Belated Birthday, Dishbrother!!!

WTF, Dish? Where have you been? I have no idea. Maybe I was in a chocolate coma. Maybe I got too engrossed in My So-Called Life. Maybe I needed a vacay.

The worst travesty is that I didn't post a special Happy Birthday to Dishbrother, who turned a milestone birthday yesterday. Since he probably wouldn't want me to post his picture, I will post a pic of the celebrity he resembles most.

It's not the day of Jesus, people. It's the day of Dishbrother who, fifty years ago, made a pact with Satan. That he keep his handsome rugged gorgeousness for all time. In return, well, nothing because Dishbrother is smarter than Satan.

Not only is Dishbrother amazing, but he's amazingly talented. I use his skin care products exclusively (except for Olay and Roc Deep Wrinkle Night Cream) and they are awesome. Also love his sleep balm, which helps bring about Lily White's Party (the lie my parents told me = sleep). His sh*t is awesome!

Enough pimping. Let's keep celebrating Dishbrother for another millennium or two...

Friday, December 21, 2012

The Mayans Just Stopped Writing in Stone Is All

The world didn't end. In fact, several things happened:

Ashton filed for divorce from Demi.

An Olympian revealed her life as a hooker to make money. Hey, whatever floats your flotilla. Can you imagine her johns saying, "I effed an Olympian."

Thoroughly brain dead from this year, Dish has started a new 500-piece puzzle featuring cartoon animals in the jungle. I've eaten three pieces of chocolate, some actual food.

Cannot wait for a big event next year: Kim Kardashian's movie debut in Tyler Perry's Temptation. She is AMAZING -- Kim, I mean.

And now, I will go into a coma for about a week.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Poor LeAnn Rimes!

Remember the days when all LeAnn did was sing? Now she's flashing the bikini, getting into twitter wars, and is becoming the butt of so much yick. The latest craziness occurred on X Factor when LeAnn appeared with this young girl and kinda of acted strange. Some say she was drunk. Dish just doesn't think she practiced singing with the girl and felt super-awkward. The girl was great. I don't know. Maybe I worry too much? I want LeAnn to come out of this in one piece and just sing.

Then on the other side of normal is Claire Danes who gave birth to Cyrus Michael Angelo Einstein Fancy Dancy Pants. I only care that Homeland continues.

Dish had a marvelous time at Jersey Boys. Told the ushers it was my fifth time but they weren't impressed. Male usher told me I should wear something red (ole!) so that the cast could see me better, making me a real whore groupie. The ushers told me the lady next to me had seen it 191 times. Superfan showed me pictures of her with the cast, told me how nice "John" and "Jarrod" and "Matt" were. Ya know "John" answers all his fan mail? The music thrills me, as always. Can't wait to see it again next week!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Broadway Bound!

Dish accomplished some good things in the last 24 hours. Got to catch up with Dishmama and Dishstepfather--and eat a secret Snickers on the train home. So much happened while I was gone. TG went to Chelsea Piers to exercise. Barky newsman Sam Donaldson was arrested for DUI. Can't a guy have a few drinks and operate dangerous machinery in peace? 

Gossip Girl has finally been revealed. I gave up on GG last season but even I wanted to know. It was pretty logical, this person's being the one. I will miss Blair and Chuck. In times of stress, I will say, "I'm Chuck Bass."

Did you see that Carmen Electra and Simon Cowell are dating? Yeah, not in a million years do I believe this but hey, nice work if you can get it. One relationship that seems to be in trouble: Bethenny and Jason. All the rags have them divorcing immediately. Sadly, Dish saw this coming. When you begin your relationship on a reality show, it can't survive past that contract.

A propos of nothing, whenever I hear a tap-tap-tap anywhere, I think it's Dishcat about the hurl. #PTSD

Jersey Boys for me tonight!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Starbuns in the Oven?

It looks as if Channing Tatum does have sex with his wife since she might be carrying his almighty seed. I'm sorry, ladies. Dish is rooting for Jenna since she had the good taste to appear on American Horror Story. Not so much Channing because of Magic Mike which wasted precious minutes of my life.

A controversial topic of the last ten years has resurfaced. Is Jennifer Aniston finally pregnant? She's wearing baggier clothes and refusing alcohol. Sorry to say, Dish isn't buying it. I am also enjoying baggier attire since comfort is more appealing. Track suit, anyone? And because I sleep poorly and booze keeps me awake, I refuse the sauce. Plus, thanks to some fertility clinics, Dish knows the odds of her being preggo right about now. If she is, may the force be with her. She and Justin will have gorgeous children with fantastic comedic timing.

Dish is off on a short road trip that will wind up in the second row of Jersey Boys on Wednesday night!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Jon Tenney Graduates to Centrum Silver!

Dish took notice of this Closer dish in 1990 with Equal Justice. He was my imaginary boyfriend for a couple years, until Keanu Reeves rocked my world with Speed. What does this have to do with the price of pancakes? Today, Jon is much further into his fifties. Happy Birthday, Jon!

Mundane stuff that I'm following: John Kerry is probably going to be Secretary of State. I can totally see this. Current secretary Hillary Clinton got the stomach flu and then fainted and got a concussion. This is her parting gift after working like a dog? Give her a break, Health Fairies!

In trainwrecks, DJ Deadmau5 proposed to Kat Von D on twitter. I love my Ms. Von D, but fear that she always skates too close to the edge when it comes to the XYs. She said yes. I just ordered more of her fabulous lipsticks from Sephora!

An interesting tidbit written by Anonymous (who's written SO much over the last centuries) called Elimination Night about a number one reality show (um, ShmAmerican Shmidol?) and all the shenanigans behind the scenes. A character, like Shmennifer ShmLopez, is a total shmunt and Shmeven ShTyler is a bulge-tweeting letch. Another character resembling Shryan Shmeacrest is allegedly a highly functioning psychopath. I have it on pre-order, filled with joy that some people in the public eye are much more effed up than I am!

Finally, in celeb news, here is Mandy Patinkin losing his sh*t but in a most delightful way.
In summation, peace and love to the families who lost their children. I can't even imagine...

Saturday, December 15, 2012

The Anarchist

There's a reason this play is closing early. It kinda stinks. Patti and Debra are great actresses. They're comfortable on stage and I would have loved to have seen them together in a different play. It's the Mamet language--so full of itself and not how anyone would speak and with lots of needless repetition--they both couldn't overcome it. At times, they were reciting as fast as they could, as if to get this damn thing over with. They glossed over the conversation and I kept having to think and rethink what they just said in order to understand. I have a  learning disorder now. Wonder what their chemistry was like off stage. At the same time, I would see them in shit any day of the week. And I did.

The best part: Patti signed my Playbill and was absolutely lovely with her fans. Just a sweetheart! She and I made eye contact. That will keep me going for a while.

Friday, December 14, 2012

School Shooting

Blah. This is too awful. I can't think of anything to say. Peace!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Sandy Concert, Golden Globe Snubbing, I Love Boy Bands!

Golden Globs (I wrote that on purpose): Outrage #1, to snub Sons of Anarchy. Are you crazy, Hollywood Foreign Press? Outrage #2, American Horror Story also got the diss but at least my Jessica Lange got a nom. Outrage #3, that Ricky isn't hosting. I can let go everything else.

TG and I watched a little of last night's Sandy concert. Though weary of the Bon Jovi, Paul McCartney and Bruce telethon trifecta, I hope they raised gazillions. Then we watched Barbara Walters, whose eyes are growing ever closer together*. Hmmmm. She interviewed One Direction, and the group reminded me of early Duran Duran, though their songs sound like Katy Perry. Never mind, I love these little tykes, dear reader. I'm one of 297 million viewers of this video.

Screw you, Homeland, for killing off my favorite character aside from Claire Danes, who is the face of the goddess herself. A mark of a good show--you kill your angels. Didn't Hemingway say that?

Men in Black III (or is it IV) is terrible. Saving grace is that Josh Brolin does an excellent Tommy Lee Jones. Joshipoo is very underrated and one of the finest actors around. And who doesn't love Emma I almost wrote Heather Thompson? Another actress I could watch cutting her toenails and be enthralled.

*And she made a grammatical error.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Real Housewives of BH--A Lesson in Manners

This is how I know Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is fake, fake, fake. It makes no sense that at Mauricio's company party, Kim would choose that moment to reveal to Adrienne/Paul (the scariest couple ever) that Brandi Mistress of Truth dropped a bomb about A&P behind their backs. Two questions: Who does that and what *is* the scandal Brandi unveiled about the Maloof/Na--somethings? There might be strange mental wiring involved on Kim's part--she has her moments--but -- okay I would have done the same thing if the cameras were on me. Can I hire Brandi to be my life coach?

I should be reading my New Yorker but got distracted when I learned that Anne Hathaway flashed her delicate flower accidentally there are no accidents at an event. This kept me busy. All websites have covered her maidenly undercarriage. They certainly didn't do the same for Britney Spears, Lindsay or poor Denise Richards! Where's the justice?

Good deed: Don't tell TG but I tipped the deliboys10$ for making me a delicious turkey club sandwich. Celebrities often double-tip, so I figured I was in good company. It made me feel great.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Mario and Courtney

It pains me to get invested in another couple, but I couldn't resist watching Mario & Courtney's wedding fiesta in Mexico, on TLC. Or was it E? Poor Mario Lopez was lovelorn after his marriage to Ali Landry ended in annulment. He's now a budding Ryan Seacrest--with a new daughter and bride! I bonded emotionally with Courtney via television because of the angoisse she experienced over her father's being a block of ice. The added bonus was that I recognized someone I know -- someone whose influence gave me a little push toward TG. Synchronicity!

So, Psy of Gangham Style is being dissed for singing anti-American lyrics 8 years ago. Honestly. We were a-holes in 2004. I certainly was a giant pain. Of course, he might make mistakes before he hit on the perfect song that would capture the universe. Let's give him a break. Dish had a John Taylor mullet.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Marry Me in NYC

There's a new wedding show in town, Marry Me in NYC, and Dish KNOWS the host, Gino Filippone! Since I'm acquainted with 3 celebrities, this means I am a celebrity. Well, he's mostly friends with my brother, but I have pictures of when Gino and I were much younger. He had the Fabio hair--the way Fabio wished he had--and I had a tighter face. Gino has been destined for stardom since birth. I'm so happy he has his own show premiering on WE Saturday. By the way, this clip doesn't come close to capturing this zesty god.

Sunday, December 09, 2012

Kate Is Yakking Again!

Oh wait, I said I wouldn't cover them during their pregnancy. Can I blame it on my Lindt overdose? So anyway, Kate is vomiting again. I feel it's only fair Wills gets equal coverage of his bodily functions. Tell us where/when he lays a giant royal turd, please?

So, that Party Animal Who Played Liz seems to be attaching at the member to a member of The Wanted. Now Dish has to research and see what this band is about. Then watch something by New Direction, to whose member Taylor Swift (I think that's her name) is attached to one of the members. I'm so tired.

On a serious note: Say a prayer for Mexican-American singer Jenni Rivera whose plane crashed early this morning. No news on where she is but so far, authorities fear the worst.

Saturday, December 08, 2012

It's Important to Look Pretty When You Cry

I have a friend who looks terrible when he/she cries. I don't say anything and just wait it out. When I cry, I make sure that my face doesn't move too much. I also swallow my sorrow as much as possible so that I only have those romantic tears rolling down my face, like Meryl Streep. Good thing no one saw me this morning wracked with agonized sobs all the way through Hope Springs starring Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. Watch it not only for the geezer sex but also for the repressed lady fashions and stellar weeping.

It's sad enough when a normal person doesn't cry pretty but when a star looks bad crying, it's like 12/21/12 end of the world. I'm talking to you, Laura Dern, Diane Keaton, Kim Kardashian...and LeAnn Rimes. This last one gives an interview--airing Sunday on E!--where she sobs about having an affair on her first husband with her current husband. LeAnn is very pretty, but when she cries in this interview, her eyes twitch unevenly, those giant nostrils contract, but no real tears spew forth. This makes me suspicious that it could be fake. As a singer, she can easily make the voice wobble. If LeAnn is going to play out her life in public, she needs to learn how to cry. Watch Julia, Meryl and Demi Moore as much as possible. Only boys fake cry. I'm talking to you, Ed Harris in Stepmom.

I've never fake cried--okay once, but it turned into real cry because it was so pathetic. At least I'm sort of gorgeous when I cry.*

*Not a word, Dishfamily.

Friday, December 07, 2012

Unnecessary Death

It's hard to predict what will send someone over the edge, but the Australian DJs who pulled the "royal prank" certainly picked the wrong woman. The fact is that this prank was stupid yet successful and the DJs got a lot of attention. Restraining that urge to break rules would put most entertainers out of business and I'm sure the DJs had no idea what their actions would cause. They simply called the hospital, impersonating royalty in order to get info on Kate and her condition, then aired their victory. It must not have dawned on them that their prank could get staff fired, ruin a livelihood, destroy a family forever, compromise a person's health/security or simply be someone's "last straw." A nurse who was one of the hoax victims committed suicide (allegedly but probably) a day later. This is just so tragic--that Jacintha Saldanha, the "excellent nurse" who probably did more good for the world than the DJs, would let this joke affect her. It is so easy to be audacious without thinking of the consequences (hear that, Imus?). It happens every day--like the kid who killed himself after his roommate secretly filmed him and blasted him on twitter. Some people just want to do their jobs and live under the radar. This death makes me so sad. The lesson in this might stick for about a month, but then the lure of being outrageous/famous for two seconds will be too great. No doubt, the two pranksters will become more famous and get book deals to detail their hardships.

Thursday, December 06, 2012

Star Spotting--Christine Quinn!!!

1:14pm at Plein Sud in Tribeca. Dish was scarfing down bread loaded with butter when someone said, "Oh, there's Christine Quinn." I whipped around to see the woman herself, wearing an awesome suit, headed toward a corner table. All I really know about her is that she's a politician and a lesbian...and a celebrity! Ergo I love her. She looked nice. I hope her meal was better than mine...

I don't think I've gone a day without hearing about how method Daniel Day Lewis is. Grrrr. One of these days, I have to see Lincoln even though my intestines gurgle at the thought. On a more cheerful note, Emily Maynard has been cast on Dancing with the Stars, which confirms her fame-whoring ways.Who the hell wants to be an anonymous single mom in Charlotte when you can be on TV? Right there with ya, Ems!

Kate Middleton was discharged from hospital. Pictures show her smiling next to her dashing balding husband. No yakking, but it's only a matter of time before it's caught on camera. Dish is obsessed.

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Here's Why You Should Never Peak Too Early

Olivia Newton John and John Travolta kill the dream of Gen-Xers everywhere with this pile of sh*t. I mean, do they think we're morons? It's not even cute. It's just stupid and insulting. What's with the soul patch and severe horrible chia pet pate on your head, JT? How did Olivia lower herself for this drek that I could have filmed on my iPad? This is so upsetting to me. Christmas sucks now.

Some good things: Dish is going to see Jersey Boys again! I've worked for the same place for 15 years and I'm getting extra dinero which will fund my Row 2 on December 19th. Who Loves You! And my fave Beverly Hills Housewife Brandi Glanville dissed LeAnn Rimes for letting her son accidentally eat her laxatives. Ugh...This smells so ugly. Dish has always been on Team Brandi. I'd totally be her BFF.

If you haven't heard enough about Emily Maynard, get ready for her stint on Dancing with the Stars. I'm done with her, though. Picked the wrong guy, rumors she was a big diva.

Okay! Off to Lily White's Party.

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

I'm Ready for My Botox

Dish had her first procedure yesterday, the most serious since wisdom teeth extraction 1993. Yes, my derm froze off a patch of sun-damaged skin on my cheek. I showed off the hideous scab to random neighbor in elevator and he said, "I don't know what to say." Say that it's awesome! Derm was so nice and I hinted that I might get Botox, but he didn't take up the thread of conversation. You'd think he wanted me out the door fast. Hey, buddy, it's not everyone who gets to see me in my underpants! Maybe in 1996 and 2005...

Everyone's talking about Kate's pregnancy. Because I want to give the royal couple their privacy, I won't say another word--except that I now know so much about that Hideous Gravarium condition aka Yakking- Constantly-Due-to-Bun-in-the-Oven-itis. They're even speculating about twins--Gaggus Majoris!

Rob Kardashian barely got his sh*t together to start a sock line, but he did find the time to call his ex a whore on twitter. Wasn't he supposed to go to law school?

And now I shall retire to focus on my enviable state--the need to gain 6 pounds. The sound of my bones scraping together, not cool. Thank the lords, it's raining corn muffins and vanilla lattes!!!

Monday, December 03, 2012

Princess Kate Is Yakking Her Brains Out!

Poor Katie-kins! When Dish thinks of hell, this is what it looks like: being so sick from yakking that one needs hospitalization. The next circle of hell is seeing all the comments from sympathizers with remedies for Kate Middleton's morning sickness. If her yakking hadn't been so severe, she might have waited to spew the news of the growing royal. According to commenters, the child could be a girl or a boy--based on the fact that she has morning sickness. Get well soon, KM!

And big congratulations to the royal couple!

Sunday, December 02, 2012

I completely forgot... think of celebrities today. Okay, so maybe I'm watching Patti LuPone in LBJ: The Early Years and working on a cat puzzle ($5.99 at Duane Reade). Who knew LBJ was such a historic figure...and a dick! I had such a crush on him growing up...

Saturday, December 01, 2012

Welcome to The Asylum!

I would totally let Jessica Lange cane me--which she does so splendidly as the evil nun in a mental institution circa 1964 on FX's American Horror Story. I'm so into the reusing of last season's characters as it's kinda reincarnationey. My one beef with Ryan Murphy is that he tends to push agendas till your head smarts. He chose a great setting for this--1964--when so many tired structures were slowly being dismantled. Though, I wonder where feminism is in this season--aside from the lesbians. He covers homosexuality, religious fascism, unorthodox "cures" in psychiatry, sexuality, racism, women mostly in their sexual roles as either whores, nuns or lesbians. His divine casting, though, makes up for this. There is a lot of love for great actresses on this show.

Two weddings happened today and they will both be on television! Ashley Hebert married JP and Mario Lopez married his baby-mama. Then in even better news, Hugh Hefner is marrying Crystal Harris, the babe who jilted him at the altar five days before last year. I felt so bad for Hef. Lucky for him, she probably ran out of money while trying to be independent and came crawling back. Or maybe it's love.