Thursday, May 24, 2007

Star Sternum Sighting

May 23, 2007--1:45. Dish was walking from the West Side Market. We can't divulge the contents (lard sandwich) since we'd just come from the gym. As we made our way up 15th on 7th, we spotted this glowing bronze sternum. How did someone do that to their chest? Was it make up? We looked up and saw the angelic face of Helena Christensen, supermodel of the 80s and 90s, former lover of Michael Hutchens. Was it really she? As HC passed us, we whipped our head around. No butt and twig legs. Had to be. What are the chances she was buying a lard sandwich, too? Okay, yes, we're bitter over the lost chances to model due to lack of discipline and height.

Non-sequitur: At the U.S. premiere of the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie, we were distressed to hear Johnny Depp speak with a decidedly British accent to interviewers. Madonna, indeed. Old chap, fol de rol, what not. We're positively sick over it and have taken to bed. 'Tis no matter as we found the DVD for Purple Rain in the under 10$ bin at Duane Reade.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Mo Star Sighting!

Dish can never resist spending money on overpriced lattes so we went back to Le Pain Quotidien for the second time. As we entered, a salt-n-peppered Mo Rocca, which sounds too much like the drink we ordered, exited carrying a Bandes aux Fruits (strawberry turnover). Buried under our coat so as to hide our bad hair and bloodshot eyes (allergies), we were nice to hold open the door for him and he thanked us. Yes, he thanked US. A celebrity said something directly to us, thanking us for our kindness, which only happened because we recognized him as a celebrity. Otherwise, girlfriend could have opened the door herself.

Of course, we just spent the last two hours trying to find out his name. And now we're breathing a sigh of rocca latte.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Dish on a Scandal

Every time Dish vows to hate Judi Dench, we can't help loving her. She's just so perfect, like that phony baloney Meryl Streep. She proves her perfection once again in Notes on a Scandal, which details a slightly lesbionic lonely spinster's intense female friendship with pedophiliac Cate Blanchett (who approaches that same perfection, except her lordly voice in Lord of the Rings annoyed us). Chaos and confession ensue between the girls all against the backdrop of Phillip Glass's endless cascading scales. When next we dish with our girlfriends, we're going to have his music playing in the background. It just lends a dramatic tone to everything. In any case, a teen gets to have sex with his art teacher (who doesn't?), Judi stops teaching so she can pick up more chicks, and Cate somehow reconciles with her old turd husband Bill Nighy. All in a day's work for Dame Judi.

We highly recommend and it'll make you think twice about divulging your secrets to a lonely person. With a cat no less. Speaking of which, ours just ralphed on the rug. It's spring!

Monday, May 14, 2007

The Painted Star Sightings

Two sightings within five hours. Friday, May 11th, 7:30 p.m. We were walking to the subway on 18th and 7th when we caught sight of a black-haired Seth Green. We did our usual zoinks double-take, which he might have noticed. Good thing: We're taller than he is and could kick his ass. Bad thing: It might not have been Seth Green. We celebrated our celebrity sighting with Chivas and a cheeseburger. 11:00 p.m. As BF escorted us home, we spotted a familiar head of white hair on a tall ex-vampire. It was Frank Langella! We couldn't help ourselves--we giggled upon remembering his full frontal in the remake of Lolita. An excellent score for a Friday night.

And now, we're watching The Painted Veil out of morbid curiosity to see our Liev act with Naomi. Since their baby news, we've left them in peace, have avoided their movies or discussions of their talent. Dish has a life, too. And yet, a tale of Cholera in 1920s China was hard to resist. In fact, watching this movie helped us re-diagnose our March 2007 ailment. Dish did have Cholera that first week, not the stomach flu. A fun movie -- despite the Cholera, maybe we just like saying Cholera -- and so far, we highly recommend. Naomi goes brunette and acts her butt off. After this, we move on to another spirit-lifter, Notes on a Scandal.