Saturday, July 31, 2010

Saturday Night

Chelsea married the investment banker and Snooki is out of jail. Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Mark Sanchez split because of an alleged wandering eye. I was happy for Jamie-Lynn but it's hard to date someone at the top. I wish she would get back with Turtle because I love them together on Entourage. Speaking of which, all the characters on that show are loyal and virtuous and I have a hard time buying it. Though Ari's psychosis is mesmerizing. Bristol Palin and Levi split because he might have gotten an ex preggo during their break. Turns out it's probably not his. Ah, youth.

Gale Harold will play a professor on Smallville. Update: He'll be a professor on Hellcats not Smallville!

Frankly, I'm dazed from all this news. Taking refuge in The L Word: Season 1 and Criminal Minds.

Friday, July 30, 2010

American Idol Upsets!

I may watch AI next season since Kara DioGuardi was fired and Ellen DeGeneres quit. This past season was a bore and I couldn't get past the second episode. Fasten your seatbelts for these judges: Randy Jackson (zzzz), J. Lo (!!!) and Steven Tyler (!!!!!!). In other news: Roseanne's Sara Gilbert has come out of the closet, and I just emerged from the kitchen. Poor Zsa Zsa needs feeding tube. Don't you get the feeling her husband pushed her down a flight of stairs? Lastly, Lindsay doesn't even have a decent pillow in jail. She can have mine since I don't use one.

My Fairy Godmother sent me Sex and the City The Movie and I cannot wait to watch it, if only for the wedding ideas. Okay, that was a lie. I'm watching it for Kim Catrall!!!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Would Sell Family To Get Duran Duran To Sing At My Wedding

Today: Such boredom. The kind where you go back and forth between desk and computer until exhausted. I'm coming off the high of going to Macy's last night and salivating over the big poster of JULIA at Lancome counter. Today, I'm reduced to eating a cookie because it's there. Glaring at To-do list and accomplishing nothing. Avoiding making phone calls. There's no sunshine over the fact that Janice Dickinson is picking fights with Rachel Uchitel (as we knew she would) on Celebrity Rehab. Looking forward only to watching TG's face as we view Jersey Shore together as a united front. He's intrigued by Snooki and I want to show him that the path to wisdom resides in a life without Jersey Shore. Let's watch The L Word instead.

I ordered Alexandra Lebenthal's The Recessionistas on Kindle. Figure since it's a recession, I would not pay full price. Have to get through my latest Deepak Choprah, which though calming seems rehashed from earlier books.

Kathy Griffin is signing at Border's at Columbus Circle on Monday 8/2. Do I dare go?

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Waddling Into the Sunset

Victoria's Secret is a lovely farm for future baby-makers. Jill Goodacre, Stephanie Seymour, Adrienne Lima, Heidi Klum, Gisele Bundchen and now our darling Miranda Kerr. Allegedly, she's been impregnated by boring-yet-cute Orlando Bloom. Congratulations to them both.

In only slightly more exciting news, Google Alerted Dish to the promise of a shirtless Gale Harold in Passenger Side. The flick itself looks like a stultifying yakky yakky man-road story but, people, Gale Harold = happiness:

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

3-5 Five Million $ Wedding This Weekend

Chelsea Clinton is getting married and huge tents, 500 guests are involved. Dish would faint on sight, which is why the TG-D union will be smaller. I will only need 1 lorazepam for every 100 guests. It seems like just yesterday Chelsea was gawky and in braces. She's turned into an elegant young woman.

According to Elisabeth Hasselbeck on today's The View, the surge of older women going gay is because of a lack of men. If I hadn't found TG, I'd be a lesbian for sure and now I know why! Most of my female friends have said at least once after a bad boyfriend, "I wish I were gay." I did, too. If only for the events, clothes, and bad movies based on my issue.

Monday, July 26, 2010

The Truth About Teri, Dammit!

DishMole reports that Teri Hatcher was, like, a normal down-to-earth mom when she came to the summer camp on Parents Day last weekend. I hate this! Why couldn't she arrive in a limo, shriek at the conditions and snatch a camp counselor's virginity? The only slightly negative comment was that she was "very white and skinny." That could apply to Dish, too, from the neck up. Do these new findings mean I have to stop hating Teri?

Last night's Mad Men. TG and I both thought it was mesmerizing, the writing was "tight" and we were on the edges of our seats. A letdown but everyone looked smashing.

Lastly, our favorite father-knows-best, Michael Lohan is trying to sell topless photos of his equally crazy fiancee, Kate Major. They are so lucky to have found each other. Landfill in love.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Girls Making Money

Nepotism is so useful. Madonna's wee bairn Lourdes "Lola" Leon is starting her own fashion line, described on the blog: . Lola has been hip since she was pulled from Madge's belly via C-section. I've followed the girl since 1996 and she's a true trend setter like her mother and not a clone either. It helps when you have kazillions funding your cause, even better when you have the talent to back it up. Now let's hope Lola stays on the straight and narrow.

Katie Holmes as Jackie O. I'll go against the grain and say: Yes. She's a cutesy version of Jackie and before she got Cruised, she could act. Let's hope she gets the accent right. I'm rooting for her to be frighteningly good, as was Drew Barrymore in Grey Gardens. Didn't expect a lot and she killed. We know Greg Kinnear will be amazing as JFK.

According to Twitter, Amanda Bynes is un-retiring and I'm back eating solid food. No more worrying about her financial future or how she'll spend the next 50 years. And no more fears that the movie world will be populated by literate and unpredictable stories.

In an upset heard round the world, TG finds himself charmed by none other than "Snooki." She is now my most hated person next to Teri Hatcher, who by the way, showed up at a Massachusetts summer camp this past week. I'm waiting for the reviews via DishMole. The food remained untouched.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Happy Birthday, J.Lo!

Great news: Lindsay Lohan might be cutting herself in jail. This is the best thing an actress can do to move ahead. Angelina Jolie used to cut herself and she now commands a 20 million dollar salary. Salt has had a big opening weekend, much of it due to Ange's past destructive ways. Get out the razor blades and make some marks, Linds! She's need a few more surgeries, maybe a bit more schooling (Angelina doesn't sound like a moron), and better film choices. She should also ditch her entire family, pronto.

On a brighter note, TG and I celebrated J.Lo by watching Maid in Manhattan. We honored Jenny from the block, along with the late Natasha Richardson whose over-40single desperation is not to be missed.

Friday, July 23, 2010

A Whole Lotta Nothing

The really talented Eric Roberts has sold out by signing up for Celebrity Rehab. I gave up on him when he did the Lifetime movie with Anne Heche (watched it 3 times anyway). Still think he's highly underrated as an actor.

Supposedly Christopher Reeve had a gay relationship. So has my cat.

Dish is catching up on True Blood and can barely get through it. What's the allure, aside from the always excellent Jessica Tuck?

Shirley Sherrod has been vindicated but it would've been nicer if she could have kept plodding along, doing her job. She's everywhere in the news, but days later, still not a whole lot venom against the people who publicly condemned her without doing the homework. To me, it seems particularly cruel to bash a woman who was open about her feelings of racism some thirty years ago. While I was -10 in the 80s, I remember racism being rather flagrant. One of my teachers called the only black girl in class a "honkie" and we were all supposed to laugh at the irony. Sadly, racism will always exist and is unacceptable. But let's also go after the really big villains. I'm going to have a tea party. Wink wink.

I hate it when I get serious, too. I wonder if Sandra Bullock really IS getting back with Jesse, as reported by those knowledgable tabloids. Chlamydia, is all I have to say.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Sore-Throat Thursday

5AM: Dish wakes up avec le mal au throat. Pour recooperate, j'ai layer sur le couch et readay le livre excellent de Rob Sheffield, Talking to Girls About Duran Duran. Le please forgettay tous ce que j'ai say du reading l'autre jour. Ce book provide beaucoup d'insight et sagesse au sujet de DD! Fais le purchase maintenant!

Maintenant sur le politics: Obama a telephonay Shirley Sherrod et dit:

O: je suis desolee d'avoir ecouter les right-wing-blog-douches. C'est vraiment LAME de faire le decisions based sur les hyper-bete-putains-de-merdes. Je suis president, apres all, et je suis tenu sur un higher standard. Many desolays!

Shirl: Merci, O, pour ton apologie. Tout le monde, prend un lesson de mon case. Le racisme est bad. LE STUPIDITE ET JUMPER-SUR-CONCLUSIONS est aussi bad. Pense before vous actez, peuple.

Autre Subject: Lindsay fais exploser ses lips avec collagen pour son mug-shot. Quel-hideous! Son papa belt son fiancee a travers le visage et maintenant les freaks parlent au media. Tous les Lohans belong en jail.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Yes I know...

...that this new blog template sucks. I don't know how to fix it!

Talking to Girls About Duran Duran

Maybe I took the title too literally. When I heard it existed, I sprinted to Borders for Rob Sheffield's book signing. Did I know this Rolling Stone critic? Not even a little. But any insight into my obsession was an instant Dish-RSVP. All day, I daydreamed that DD might show up just out of narcissism (Dish cuts out news headlines with her name in them). Sadly, while Sheffield was wildly entertaining, he only mentioned DD when someone queried about Warren Cuccurullo. I've now decided I'm going to call my memoirs: Twilight...And Other Night Creatures In My Bed. We'll see how it sells. Dish bought two copies and got them autographed. I heard him mention So Red the Rose to an admirer, which indicated a deep knowledge of the Fab Five. I scanned the room for Simon, Nick, John, maybe even Roger hiding in the YA section. Nothing. Just one man wore a shiny gray suit, hopelessly out of date and not even close to Duran-like. While on line, I spoke sparkling French with a Belgian but had no quippy small talk when it was my turn to get my book signed by a CELEBRITY. See? Dish would never be a good stalker of famous people.

Despite the anti-climax, I enjoyed Rob Sheffield's reading immensely. He is furthering the blessed clause of DD. I'm sure I'll become a fan once I start the book.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Dish Supports Shirley Sherrod!

Though a life-long Democrat, I have even less faith in our administration than I did a couple years ago. O never promised me a rose garden and I never expected one. But now, he and everyone around him hold no credibility with me with the unjust Shirley Sherrod firing. How sad that bad journalism can influence a President. I'm sure if O knew what I'd done thirty years ago, he'd have me fired, too. Shame on the news networks for doing poor reporting and misconstruing long-ago incident and being themselves racist and sexist. Thanks to CNN for reporting the truth.

Sadly, I can't see her getting her job back and, if I were her, I wouldn't want to work for so many jackasses.

Monday, July 19, 2010

So Much Anxiety for the Stars!

My intestines rumble when I think about celebrity unemployment. My pillow is a testament to worry as I punch it nightly. Please let Harvey Weinstein create his magic. Give Angelina 20 million for Salt. God, provide Rachel Uchitel with her own reality show. Today, the Lord listened to my prayers. Harvey's afloat. Angelina can feed her six children. And Rachel Uchitel got 500K for Celebrity Rehab and now won't have to pork Donald Trump. I might watch just to see her injectibles. Okay, I'll really watch for that swaying mess Janice Dickinson. Maybe Dish will play drunk just to get on the show. Oh wait, I have to be famous first.

Lastly, even though I don't always agree with her, I miss seeing Cindy Adams in the Post and hope she returns soon. If she's ill, may she recover swiftly. If she's lost her mind, she's in good company. And if she's out with her cabana boy, Jean-Claude, a souvenir from nude excursions at Hedonism, I hope she parties on.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Happy Birthday to James Brolin

Just when I thought the star-gossip well had run dry, Mr. Barbra Streisand turned 70 today. James Brolin has done interesting projects though I loved him most in Hotel and his hot chemistry with Connie Selleca. He did a pretty good Ronald Reagan. I remember when James and Babs first got married. She was 55 and had spent a lot of time as a single gal (though romantically linked with a lot of studs). It gave me hope that someday my prince would come. I hope they're happy.

Dish has discovered a new journey: Criminal Minds. Bravo, Thomas Gibson for crossing fully into drama from vapid comedy. Fabulous show.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

C'mon, Ladies

Paris Hilton was supposedly busted for doobies at a Corsica Airport. I admire her ability to make headlines after we stopped caring. Really, it's sad when untalented people fade from the limelight. Paris is young, though. She needs to devote her life to charity or get a Ph.D.

On another snoozy note, Elizabeth Hurley will bore us to tears by doing a reality show about her organic farm. Hurley + Organic = Double Zzzzzz. I'd rather see Hugh Grant do an infomercial on face cream.

Call me Detective Benson but I'm troubled by the picture of Mel's babymama with the punched-in teeth. It's as if she's smiling for the camera. I'm a cheerleader for the victim getting justice and yet this case is beyond bizarre. Clearly, Mel's crazy. Is Oksana just as loony? The only person who would know is Timothy Dalton who fathered her first child. Remember the glory days when Dalton and Vanessa Redgrave were an item?

Dish is watching The Bounty Hunter. It's terrible despite the chemistry between Aniston and Butler. The moral of the story is: Aniston has a hot bod and Gerard can carry her over his shoulder.

Friday, July 16, 2010

How Can I Refudiate This?

Sarah Palin has invented a new word: Refudiate. I understand exactly what she means so let's use it. Sarah has a big wedding to plan and, of course, I'm contributing to the cause by buying the latest US magazine where a womanly Bristol and Levi with baby pose for the cover.

Dish has her own wedding to plan and I'm wondering: What about a Duran Duran themed wedding? Menu: Simon Le Bon Bons Wardrobe: Tuxes Taylored by John and Roger. And as today's wedding coordinator said to Dish: "All Rhodes lead to Nick." Fedora wedding favors. You can take your own Girls on Film. After the ceremony, everyone will be Hungry Like the Wolf. During the reception, we'll play the Wedding Album and it will be a Late Bar whose liquor will vanish Faster Than Light. That's All She Wants.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Dish is 42

Today was my birthday and this year I'm stunned by how a life can change. Last year, I was working hard, by myself but generally comfortable/happy hanging with my family and friends (and super-secret family of celebrities). This year I have all of this, plus a special betrothed and his wonderful family. I'm blessed.

But enough of that: Dish had a star sighting at 5:33 pm on Hudson Street, b/w Leroy and Clarkson. Nadia Dajani (aka Nina Katz "I'm starvation central" from Sex and the City ) was pitching for a softball game. I scanned the area for more celebs but that was it. She's adorable though Dish could give her pointers on pitching.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Star Sighting--Ken Paves

19th and 7th, 1pm: While I may be under the weather, I always carry my celeb radar and it sounded as I neared my home. In front of me was this slight shaggy man carrying a little doggie. He looked around furtively then became fascinated by an old lady crossing the avenue. Having watched Jessica Simpson's show about true beauty around the globe, I recognized Ken instantly. He's the hairstylist to the stars and special friend to Jessica. Alas, I felt too ill to stalk. My main feeling was that Ken Paves cared about the world around him.

Happy Birthday, Jane Lynch!!!

Just plain excellent--and now a year older. Best wishes from Dish and Company.

Sorry, J.J.!!!

Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem got hitched after three years of dating. Usually when the stars date for a long time, they get bored with each other and break up. Not so true with foreign stars. Regarding Penny and Javie, I questioned whether their love was a sham. Because they're now married, the two entered into a sacred and viable union, which will last forever. At least marriage will keep that whore Penelope from dating every elligible man in Hollywood and kissing the ladies (only in movies)!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

It's The Year of the Bad Husband

So what about all this Mel Gibson news? Dish's take: Mel has been sick for many years. He's a rage-aholic, everyone says yes to him, he might be a little gay, his peak was long ago, he's divorced Robin because they had no "spiritual common ground." A valid thing for a couple. FYI--both TG and I worship the Goddess Pesto who lives in a big noodle in the sky. What makes me mad is Whoopi, whom I normally support, who supports Mel on The View. Said Mel's nice, he's no racist, Oksana is a golddigger. She may be, but no one should get punched in the face. If Mel had punched me, I wouldn't go to the police. I'd leak his messages on the Internets because his career/life/ credibility would be ruined more thoroughly. The police might have ignored her as they often do criminal celebrities. Hell hath no fury...

Speaking of a-holes, George Steinbrenner passed away. While he was enjoyable on Seinfeld, I'm a little nauseated by my hetero-guy-friends posting weepy R.I.P.s on Facebook. I've been an avid Yankees fan since 1978. Though legendary, GS was an a-hole. I'm not glad he's dead but I won't be toasting him anytime soon.

Lastly, my review on Inglourios Basterds: Quentin Tarentino masturbates and it's unwatchable.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Major Star Sighting


JJ: Star Sighting, 67th and CPW. STING!
Dish: Impressions?
JJ: Young looking. Hot.
Dish: Facelift and strippers

Sunday, July 11, 2010


It's official that I can go a week without the media. Now that I don't have to, there are a few items to address:

TG and I listened to the Mel Gibson rant and giggled the whole way through. He was hilarious! Who talks like that? Well, drunk people at 3 a.m. So nice the world finally knows the real Mel. How to erase the fact that he's a talented actor?

Lindsay Lohan needs to go to jail fast. Her fame-whoring father said something very astute (for once) by urging her drug testing to include prescription drugs. Apparently, she's Judy Garland sans talent. Can death be far behind?

World Cup: TG and I tried to pick a side--the country that hurt the Jews the least and/or the nicest uniforms--and failed. Not the most exciting game but yay anyway.

To end on a happy note: Let's hope Kevin Costner's barge, Ella G, can help clean the oil spill. Ella is my grandmother's name--a good omen.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

It's Someone's Birthday!

But I'm not saying who. It's definitely not the person who played Brian Kinney from Queer As Folk and who is a moody, emotion-withholding Cancerian just like Dish.

I endured the week of fasting fairly easily. My life was no better/worse from the lack of celebrities. I had one moment of weakness caused by my foray into the Guggenheim mixed with too many vegetables. My agita compelled me to turn on the TV for a moment but then I realized that I'd fought too hard for my silence.

Happy birthday to someone! And soon, it'll be Dish's turn to celebrate.

Friday, July 09, 2010

Day #5: Star Sighting If I Were Noticing

1:38 pm, Washington Place and Sixth Avenue: Because I'm star-fasting, I pretended nothing had happened. I definitely did NOT see Little Steven from Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band and The Sopranos (he was good in this). He certainly wasn't huffing and puffing as he carried a duffel bag across the street and he totally did not have a large belly. If I were paying attention to the stars, I'd say he looked young. The moral of the story is: Fat Don't Crack.

Long Live Little Steven and his bandanna.

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Day #4: Dish, with a Doctorate in Duran Duran

With no TV, mags or newspapers, I've fallen back on the sweet succor of my oft neglected iPod, o compressor of music. If you blast the night version of "Is There Something I Should Know" by those fab five comprised once of Simon, Nick, John, Andy and Roger (now sans Andy), it dulls the pain. In this precious gem of an enlighted age, you'll discover an homage to Roxy Music and Chic. Truly a funktastic and haunting melody to get you through the darkness. As I ran, I thought deeply not of literature but of Simon's hair through the ages: from mullet to Rob Thomas to Meg Ryan and now Kate Gosselin circa 2009, such blessed rock star tresses. As I finished my trudging and Duraning, my eyes strayed to a screen located across my machine. It displayed jovial men in red uniforms celebrating in homoerotic fashion. Not the gym, but Spain had won some part of the World Cup. I didn't ask.

And now to work with the cool rumblings of "Girls on Film" (Night Version).

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Hmmm, I Wonder Who's Going to Jail!?

Someone spilled the beans to me about Lindsay Lohan, though I averted my eyes before learning too much. Now I only wish I could have seen her cry as the judge handed down the sentence. No. Stop it, Dish. Does Nick Rhodes degrade himself like this? Do he and Hillary Clinton lower themselves like this? (Maybe Nick does--hoo hoo hee hee haa haa)Enough Tomfoolery! I will not yield to such star-schadenfreude.

Today, I picked up Proust instead of Perez, learning about the magnificence of a phallic steeple piercing the violet velvet sky. How gay!

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Day #3, I Mean, Only Day #2 of Star Fast

Which means I'm not even halfway through. Did I mention that our air-conditioning isn't working?

It's quite sobering not to read Perez during work breaks. Somehow, I resisted The Post at my kiosk. That rag is my downfall, plus it's too easy to see what's on TV. My Yahoo browser indicated some news about Lindsay Lohan and Lady Gaga but I did not click on it. Did not watch episodes of Lost. My Netflix queue remains untouched. Have not inserted a DVD. I've withstood torture by loved ones of sensational news regarding Duran Duran and Sandra Bullock. TG claims that Gina Lolabrigida is having an affair with Brad Pitt. As if she'd touch his nasty ass. Most painful, I did not catch up on my CNN while at the gym. To quote Prince Dougray Scott in Ever After, I will not yield!!!

Monday, July 05, 2010

Guest Blogger: TG

Starblog #1. Starship Dishiepoo. Captain TG Grillspoon. We have just returned from 48 hours of leave in Euphoria, NJ where Dishmom, Dishstepdad, Dishbrother, Disbrother's partner, and Admiral Dishiepoo herself celebrated the independence of our great nation. Traditional holiday staples were had and enjoyed by all: potato salad, ribs, corn, ice cream, in addition to a sumptuous tart with crème anglaise and blueberries. I have been admitted to sick bay after First Officer Shlock's tricorder readings detected abnormally high levels of cholesterol and alcohol in my bloodstream. Dr. McGroin has recommended a vegetarian diet and use of a girdle should trips like these become part of the Star Trek franchise. On a more positive note, Chief Engineer Mr. Pott has successfully produced a marinade for spare ribs that will make them as tender as baby back ribs for next year's celebration. The Confederation is considering accommodating Mr. Pott with its highest honor for this money saving discovery.

Day #1: The No Pop Culture Challenge

I feel fine so far. The shaking hasn't started but I almost flipped through Glamour before realizing: 1. Julia was in the issue. 2. I'm too old to read Glamour 3. It's only Day #1 of my no pop culture challenge. I have two Netflix movies, bought The Brave One (Dish can so identify) at Duane Reade's 9.99 rack and can't watch any of these discs. I'm listening to classical music because that's what old people do when they're not into pop culture. I managed to steal a Henry James novel from my parents' house.

To deal with this week, I will be inviting guest bloggers to Dish. Detox will be painful.

Sunday, July 04, 2010

I couldn't give two sh*ts about Independence Day. It's a farce considering that gays are not FREE to marry. Women are treated like dog crap. Racism is everywhere and the U.S. keeps screwing up on a massive scale. We're involved in tons of wars with leaders unable to lead. What is there to celebrate?

Maybe a few things:

Nadal won Wimbledon in straight sets.
Dish is engaged.
TG is grilling today.
We have our health.

That's enough. Tomorrow starts Day #1 of the challenge. Hope I don't check accidentally.

Saturday, July 03, 2010

If We Both Lean Forward At The Same Time, We'll Kiss!

The challenge is on! Starting July 5, Dish will go a whole week without the essentials: celebs, tabloids, gossip, TV, movies--and especially, no Julia. What will I do? Listen to chamber music because that's what cultured people do. I'll continue reading Proust.

Thank goodness my fast will end by July 12 because that's the season premiere of The Closer and this new lesbian cop drama Rizzoli and Isles, starring that raspy-talking Republican who's married to the football player. I kinda like her. It's not really a lesbian cop drama but we can dream, can't we?

Friday, July 02, 2010

Dish Is Related To...

...Liev Schreiber!!! Maybe it's a stretch but DishAunt kept name-dropping about family and "Schreiber" was one of the names. Could it be true? I see a little resemblance in the massive jowl area. Does this mean that Naomi is sort of sister? Now I can brush her long blond hair and it wouldn't be weird at all!!!

So, I'm thinking of doing one of those Julia/Julie/Happiness Project challenges, not for publicity or $$$ (though of course welcome) but for my own betterment. I wouldn't last a year so I'll challenge myself to one week of NO: celebrities, movies, Page Six, perezhilton, huffingtonpost, radaronline, People, etc... Perhaps even no television? One week. Can Dish do it?

Thursday, July 01, 2010

It's hard to know...

...where the crazy ends and the insanity begins. Lots of shakeups in the world, the most catastrophic being that Kelsey Grammer is divorcing his little lady Godiva. I was rooting for the blonde waif, especially since she didn't ruin her figure by birthing a child. Poor Lady, she will be traded in--except she's now on one of the Real Housewives franchises. Funny how many of those housewives are not wives at all. I thought Kelsey was cute for about 5 minutes in the 80s, until I learned about his penchant for strippers, narcotics and booze--not that there's anything wrong with that. I enjoy him on a small screen and am torn about whether to spend the $$$ to see La Cage Aux Folles. Thoughts, JJ?

If you weren't already shocked: Dean McDermott fell off his bike. I can see Tori Spelling, her skeletor legs pumping through the sand to get to her injured (flatulent) man, with cameras trailing behind her.

Oh right, Mel Gibson showed us he hasn't changed since the Sugar Tits incident. His recent ex had recorded his ick and Gibson's lackeys are working to keep the hate-filled rant out of court. In 1994, he was hot. Now he's a greasy and sad. His ex-wife got the best of him (which, in his case, is always the worst).