Sunday, May 20, 2018

Starspotted: Andrew Sullivan!!!

12:38pm, today. After worshipping at the gods of Sephora in Union Square, purchasing a lovely Smashbox palette from "Emily," Dish moseyed home and was dazzled to see controversial political pundit/journalist/blogger Andrew Sullivan crossing the street. Dish has seen Mr. Buff Scoop before at Dishgym and on Bill Maher. Never mind Sullivan's brain, people. He's in excellent physical shape though suffers from typical buff male affliction: chicken legs. I thought you should know.

Southern Charm has been on my mind. The male cast members are on separate downward spirals. With a steady supply of barbecue, cornbread, and collared green, I could easily advise them. Austin, unemployed and doesn't have a plan for his booze company (an excuse to drink, hello I'm starting a chocolate factory). Craig is whining and sewing pillows instead of using his law degree (I get it). The yelling married guy, separated. Shep, affable but an inert gas. And Thomas. Oh, Thomas. Where do I begin? DishfriendinCharleston knows a lot about Thomas. I have Ted Talks ready for his viewing.

By contrast, the women of Southern Charm are interesting, except for Naomi's jealousy, which is a character unto itself. Deep inside, Dish understands her psycho-ex behavior, but you need to tamp down the crazy until you develop a duodenal ulcer. It plays better on TV. In the meantime, I recommend Mylanta shots, no vegetables on an empty stomach, and Immodium.

Real Housewives of New York, you need to step up your game. Except for Bethenney and her work for Puerto Rico. 

In the meantime, Let's all keep trucking.

Saturday, May 19, 2018

Royal Wedding and So Much Love

Dish is swimming in a pool of fascinators, scones, and GORGEOUS GOSPEL SINGING AT WINDSOR PALACE. So many celebs! That hateful Amal with her spectacular AS USUAL choice of color (yellow). Did not see Goddess Oprah, but the cast of Suits--who were all whispering, "We're not even Scandal..."--dazzled me just the same. Gabriel Macht was, like, hey, fuckers, I do this every day. Posh and Becks have done this so many times, one of them should take a dump on the lawn to SPICE things up. It was five in the morning, so my thoughts are unharnessed. Maybe in the corner of my eye, I see Megan's beagle humping the Queen's unspayed corgi. It's British royal tradition (very white like Dish's ancestry except for a hint of something else on my grandfather's side) meets the diverse part of America that did not vote for the Orange Criminal Infestation we have in our Not-United States.

If you watched the coverage, you witnessed rare enthusiasm and joy on the part of journalists.  It brought a lightness we haven't seen in a couple years. As Dish sipped her English Breakfast, Anderson Cooper giggled, Richard Quest's voice rose even more than it does when he details plane crashes. Stephanie Ruhle and Katie Tur needed cheerleading pom poms and Joy Reid, well, she was exuberant divinity itself. You could feel the love.

Dish remembers well the wedding of Charles and Di, me wearing an elastic legging around my left leg because I'd slipped down a flight of stairs and ripped flesh, right before a flight home from France. It almost made DishMom yak her croissants. Thirty years later, Wills and Kate got married right after I did and I slept on the floor during the coverage while my beloved paid no attention to the pageantry. Kate's Alexander McQueen dress knocked my socks off. The wedding was sweet, formal with everyone saying this brought a new era to the monarchy.

Harry took that up a notch, as he always does. We gingers are used to that. I've always had a soft spot for Harry since the photo of him sticking his tongue out at photogs. For a brief period, I wrote him off when he wore the swastika to a party. But then his military service and his Vegas debauchery wore me down again. Also, Meghan is a luminous choice in brides. When she smiles, I think Julia is reborn, which might lead to our becoming best friends, though since I'm close to 50, I might be a better big sis. Or mother figure...This time, TG watched with me and, dare I say, I saw tears streaming down his face.

Did Dish cry, too? Only once, when Charles picked her up halfway down the aisle. Like me, Meghan didn't have her father at her wedding but an ever-present mom and stand-in escort down the aisle (Dishbrother) can be fabulous.

Congrats to the lovely couple. It's midnight in England. I'm totally not thinking at all about what they're doing on their wedding night.