Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Dish's First Hot Flash! (That's TMI, isn't it, Mom)

It happened while I was on the couch. All of a sudden, I felt overheated, sweating like a pig. Let's get this straight: Dish doesn't sweat! I asked TG if he was hot and he said yeah, but looked at me like I was crazy. So, figuring I also had food poisoning and violent lethargy in addition to menopause, I remained on the couch, playing Candy Crush until it passed. Now I am reading my Dr. Christiane Northrup and fanning myself even though I'm at room temperature. Can I just say this: $&%^^ , %&$*%& and $*$(#^ twice and die! I thought I'd stay young forever.

At least there is a ton of news to distract me. Just when I feel Tori and Dean are raw from crying on True Tori, the mighty Jezebel alleges that it's all fake. That makes the Tori-McDermotts more genius than I'd thought!!! And, then, if that wasn't good enough, Tori had to be hospitalized! This pulled at Dish's heartstrings. Truth be told, I'd be on ALL KINDS of medication if I were in Tori's situation (Picture it, Dish in a dark room, no sound, except for constant buying of extra Candy Crush games--with hot flashes to keep her toasty until the white light).

Celebrity Marriages:

I was so happy to read that Jodie Foster finally got married! But then I saw the pic of her bride and it's the schemy chick from The L Word--one of the best shows ever--who totally screwed over Tina. No seriously, big congratulations to the happy couple.

Paul Simon and Edie Brickell got arrested for a domestic disturbance. Allegedly, she hit him and he hit her back but it was all fine. Maybe she was having a hot flash!

Oh, and I almost forgot George Clooney is engaged. I think the future-Mrs.-Clooney is the new Lady Di, only with a huge job. I'm so conditioned to be bored by his personal life that I can't grasp this.


Anonymous said...

There was probably too much msg in your take-out. Time to start cooking.

Dish said...

Done, Mom! (I'm assuming...)