Wednesday, April 23, 2014

True Tori, Peaches, Scandal, Sherlock & Colbert -- My New Law Firm

Thanks to a colleague, whose television taste runs seedier than mine, I remembered to watch True Tori, where Tori Spelling gets real about her marriage to Dean McDermott, what actually happened (he totally cheated), and how awesome their woes are for television. Seriously, they are geniuses for making a buck off their dirty laundry.

If TG suddenly decides he's meant to live life as werewolf, I will grab a camera and record the horror: the hair regrowing even after the laser removal, the howling at the moon, his vicious insults (he called me a pinhead last week) and how he keeps wanting to watch Bones, when Louie is my preference. I'll throw his ass in rehab because mama's gotta watch her stories. I always learn from Tori.

Yesterday's News:

Colbert taking over as Letterman. Nice guys really do finish first! I will watch this new fleet of late night shows. Except Craig. Don't hate me but as Karen says on Will & Grace, "he don't make me laugh."

The death of Peaches Geldof. I remember when she was born, for criminey's sakes. After comparing and contrasting pictures, I could make several conclusions. This would be unprofessional given my medical expertise. I'll wait for toxicology reports. The family's devastation must be unimaginable. As a star-aholic, I watch these people grow up and then disappear. It's sad for me. (Am I crazy?)

Scandal: I don't remember the finale. Someone died. This season, though, for me was all about how Tony Goldwyn looked really stoned. Or maybe this prez was a big stoner or Tones thought it looked more romantic to have his eyes half-mast all the time. What if it's a physical condition he can't help? I will pay for this.

Four years after its premiere, TG and I have begun to watch Sherlock, which is wildly fun. We are loving the super-smart sociopaths these days. BC reminds me of what Kenneth Branagh was 20 years ago--this enthusiastic, extra-terrestrial seeming yet intoxicating, theatrically trained Brit. This is probably why reincarnation exists.

As for me, personally, I'm pleased that I finally found a deep conditioner for my hair. For the first time in thirty years, it's silky soft.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

We have been waiting for tips from celebrity Dish--like a new hair conditioner. What is its name?