Dish hasn't been taking her celebrity Metamucil, thus the irregularity. She apologizes for the hiatus to obsess about real people. The repeated discovery that real people are never so constant as the stars has returned her to life in the clouds. So here goes:
1. Poor Reese. Poor Ryan. But considering how pretentious his character was in Cruel Intentions, and how much he wanted to mount Joshua Jackson, are we surprised? The nail in the coffin is always the Oscar curse. What man can deal with his female partner getting an Oscar--Hello, Benjamin Bratt and Julia Roberts, Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Affect, Halle Berry and Eric Benet. The sound of shrinking testicles can be heard across the land.
2. Kylie Minogue returns to tour after conquering breast cancer. Yes, please get back on tour, Kylie, before your copycat sister Dani takes over the music scene.
3. Where was Studio 60 on Sunset Strip on Monday? I was all ready to watch but it wasn't there. Need my fast-dialogue (and secretly, Matthew Perry) fix. Plus, I want to spend sixty minutes feeling sorry for the Harriet Hayes character. She's adorable, blonde, on television every week, told often how talented she is (when really she's kinda as good as I would be in sketch comedy), dates a hunky baseball player but is in love with the cute head writer on the show. Don't you feel bad for her?
4. So, Madonna adopted a baby and everyone condemns her. On October 26th, Andrea Peyser of The New York Post called Madonna, "the sluttish superstar." Isn't that nice? Especially to someone who's been married or in long-term relationships for the last twenty years--not that this means anything. Madonna just can't get away from that pointy breast bustier. Did Angelina get as much censure when she adopted Maddox while in a shaky marriage with Billy Bob and they carried around vials of blood around their necks? Then again, Angelina has those blazing eyes and pillowy lips. She's made out with her brother, gone public with her bisexuality and penchant for lovers rather than relationships, snatched Brad Pitt from the Aniston. She can expand her brood and we all stand back to watch with awe. Peyser also wrote--referring to Madonna and Oprah--"Don't trust these women with innocents."
Someone hasn't been taking her Metamucil.
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