Tuesday, April 16, 2013

NYC loves Boston

...and so does Dish (I wrote Dosh). My best wishes to everyone there. I kept meaning to spew some garbage and now this horror happens. I got caught up in the reporting, going from Wolf Blitzer (lots of repetition and supposition at CNN) to Dianne Sawyer (I used to love her but she sounds sappy and intoxicated) to Brian Williams (love his daughter in Girls) to Anderson Cooper (love!) to Piers Morgan (dear bloody god, does he ask the stupidest questions or what). Had to stop.

Before this, I learned that Jane Seymour kicked her hubby to the curb. I keep meaning to buy her open heart necklace via Koors or DeBats or something but forget.Then Shannon and Ozzie might have separated but turns out she left because he fell off the wagon--and probably concussed himself. If you haven't had enough, a crazy woman threw a pube-filled razor at Hugh Jackman and said she was going to marry him (allegedly). Note to all crazy women: these tactics never work. Trust me!!!

I've decided a few things since I'm under a tight deadline to finish this book:

1. I am allowed to eat a candy bar every day.
2. When I see a Duane Reade, I can go in and buy myself a new eyeshadow.
3. I will wear my pajamas as much as possible.
4. Staying up until 2am is permitted.
5. Use of tranquilizers and sleeping aids over the next two weeks is understandable.
6. I will make a list of things I can do when I'm done: a. get a massage. b. get a foot massage. c. buy an elephant puzzle. d. see Jersey Boys for the 10th time. e. catch up 3 months of New Yorkers.


Anonymous said...

How many of you are, like me, having horrific Dish withdrawal symptoms? It's very difficult, almost unbearable.

Dish said...

Apologies, Anonymous. Starting May 3rd, when I hand in my book, I'll be back and better than ever!!!!