Saturday, September 10, 2011

Yesterday's Studs Making News

Sugar t*ts Mel Gibson wants to make a movie about Jewish hero Judah ­Maccabee. Dish doesn't worry about his intolerant comments about Jews, gays, women, stem cell research. Dish wants this movie to be made because of how gay it could be. Ever since Braveheart, Mel has been swimming in undulating homoerotic waters, all while making adorable gay slurs. His recent movies contain loinclothes, glistening muscles, torture scenes where men wear these orgasmic expressions, and who could forget when Mel wears hose and waxes himself in What Women Want? At the beginning of Apocalypto, the men discuss eating testicles, maybe because they would rather eat balls than visit the hut where their wives are waiting for baby-making boinkage. I'm sorry, but I can't wait for what Mel does next. His last movie The Beaver, well, hahahaha there, especially given the connection to Jodie Foster, who vehemently supported him during his domestic violence/custody snafus. Mel's splendor has taken quite a dive since Braveheart and I doubt he'll rise again. In the meantime, can't we twisted viewers have a little fun and not take him so seriously? If groups want to express their outrage, fine. The real tragedy in the comedy of Mel is that...he used to be an amazing actor. Now he just seems bananas.

Another amazing actor who's made some great movies and real crap (Anger Management), Jack Nicholson had a house burn up in the Hollywood Hills. I almost burnt tonight's meatloaf, my wandering attention due to the pain of Federer losing. Dish was dreaming of a Federer/Nadal rematch but will settle for Nadal/Djokovic.

Toronto International Film Festival is happening. Angelina wore another black dress. I will catch Moneyball, the first Brad movie I really want to see since...since...Se7en. Who am I kidding? I see all of his movies even though I don't think he's cute at all. It's my job.

Congratulations to Amy Smart and Carter Oosterhouse who got hitched!

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