Semantics

Today's Post claimed to show Jennifer Aniston naked. Of course, that's the reason why I bought the paper (along with their sudoku). As I turned the pages, I realized I'd been HAD! She's covering her more pertinent areas and they call that naked? Last I checked, naked meant removing all clothing. Dish would even demonstrate if offered enough money (like a million and a wide angle lens to put entire butt in frame). I know what you're thinking: Why does Dish want to see naked pics of Jennifer anyway? Why not? Another use for the Post is that it's throwing a Duran Duran sweepstakes which I entered. Fingers crossed!

Status of bruised leg: Turning yellow
Celebrity sightings: 0 and getting worried. Might redeem at special screening of The Spirit next week
Superman Status: Priceless, has introduced Dish to fluke (a kind of fish) and octopus
Fantasies of smoking cigs again: 20,000
When will Dish watch last night's ep of DSM: Right now!