Dish hates standing in line. The track lighting beats down, exposing me to all kinds of scrutiny. What happens if I leave the line? Then I don't get what I want. If I stay, I might choke on my own air. Once the cashier scans my stuff, I'm stuck until he/she's done. When I stand in line, I become Mel Gibson in
Conspiracy Theory, only instead of
Catcher in the Rye, I tend to buy stuffed elephants on impulse (Duane Reade has an excellent supply). I see them, I have to have them. While I don't have tapioca pudding in a padlocked fridge, I keep a steady supply of Altoids, which remind me minty freshness removes all obstacles. And so does Ganesh the great elephant god. (This sounds a little crazy, doesn't it?) When Superman saw my array of trunk-happy creatures, I told him I was planning on giving them to sick children. Which made me feel super-bad (because I'm going to keep them!). Long story short, I'm getting Tivo. Given my social life, I need to watch my stories at my convenience.
Okay...now I have to figure out how to get TIVO or DVR, which might take another couple years. I'm told the process of upgrading my technology involves waiting in the line from hell. Nothing was worse than my eight-hour wait to renew my student Visa in Paris.
Dish hates standing in line. The track lighting beats down, exposing me to all kinds of scrutiny. What happens if I leave the line? Then I don't get what I want. If I stay, I might choke on my own air. Once the cashier scans my stuff, I'm stuck until he/she's done. When I stand in line, I become Mel Gibson in Conspiracy Theory, only instead of Catcher in the Rye, I tend to buy stuffed elephants on impulse (Duane Reade has an excellent supply). I see them, I have to have them. While I don't have tapioca pudding in a padlocked fridge, I keep a steady supply of Altoids, which remind me minty freshness removes all obstacles. And so does Ganesh the great elephant god. (This sounds a little crazy, doesn't it?) When Superman saw my array of trunk-happy creatures, I told him I was planning on giving them to sick children. Which made me feel super-bad (because I'm going to keep them!). Long story short, I'm getting Tivo. Given my social life, I need to watch my stories at my convenience.
Okay...now I have to figure out how to get TIVO or DVR, which might take another couple years. I'm told the process of upgrading my technology involves waiting in the line from hell. Nothing was worse than my eight-hour wait to renew my student Visa in Paris.
2 comments:
Time Warner Cable's DVR is really fucking easy to use and acquire. Call them up, tell them, you want your DVR. Then go to TWC on 23rd street, get a number and SIT in a chair along the wall and wait. It's a great people watching event that J.J. highly recommends.
I'm quite embarrassed for you, how is it that "The Dish Girl" is this far behind the curve?
Dish is behind the curve because of sheer laziness. Will fix!!! Thanks for the suggestion.
Post a Comment