Though I didn't hear him on Larry King, Chris Brown supposedly doesn't remember beating the crap out of his ex-girlfriend Riyanna. If that gets me five years probation, I am totally going on a crime spree. The world will forgive me. I'll still be on TV. My coffers will replenish themselves once the public conveniently forgets my evil deed and finds me cute again.I once stole four magazines from a pharmacy. I was in boarding school, desperately in love with Duran Duran. I had no money, couldn't run back to get some. My pants were enormous and time was of the essence. I rolled them up and stuffed them down, walked out the door. Now I cringe over what could have happened--suspension, calling my parents, reputation as a lame magazine thief. Thieving is not my bag and, even when I was a thug-adolescent, it was out of character. As you can tell, my obsession was desperate.
Still, I wouldn't have punched someone black and blue for these mags. Maybe I did. I don't remember.
8 comments:
Miss Dish, We are shocked. Do you repent?
I do. But I might need a beating, too (or at least a spanking)!
I'll confess to pilfering a magazine or two as a youth, since Dish started the confessions rolling. I just won't acknowledge which magazine made its way from the shelf to my pants. I leave that to one's imagination.
Hello, Cryptic Boy who keeps repeating Kiss which is a message in itself. I'd say you stole Playboys. You were a good boy but needed to have some fun. Thumbs up.
xoxo
No, not Playboy. Guess again.
Oh, how could I have been so stupid. Obvs, it's PlayGIRL!
Tee hee hee.
Repent! Repent! All of you.
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