It's True!

At 11am tomorrow, Tiger Woods is apologizing for misplacing his clubs. Dish is holding a press conference at the SAME TIME to explain why boycott of Le Pain Quotidien lasted only two days. I'm hoping TG has the courage to stand by me. During this mayhem, CNN keeps sending me dirty messages that Iran is building a super secret missile. Full circle.

TG thinks I do secret things. It's TRUE! While he stepped out, I dashed to my computer, punched in the code, scanned my retina to watch Gummy Bear Davis attempt to be straight in Millionaire Matchmaker. Gummy farted during his first date with a voluptuous blond, but at least he stopped frosting his tips. I didn't do my other secret thing, which is to buy macaroons and shove them in my face.