Oscar

The complaining about Oscar hosts post-Billy Crystal bores me. That little twerp was good but Hugh Jackman delivered. The dazzling opening number gave me goosebumps, especially when my arch-nemesis, Anne Hathaway, showed off her pipes. Yes, I hate her because Superman adores All-American brunettes. Even I had to admit she's multi-faceted (with huge teeth). Other thoughts:

Mickey Rourke looked fantastic in white. Good hair, excellent glittering pinky ring.

Sarah Jessica has had work done. We were trying to figure out what but got only as far as cheek implants.

My party praised Marisa Tomei, thought she should have won for letting the cameras explore her nakedness in The Wrestler.

Speaking of nakedness, Kate won, which was no surprise. Enjoyed her father's whistle.

Loved Amy Adams's necklace and dress, just not together.

I asked innocently if Barbara Walters had had a facelift and my party laughed uproariously.

Every time they flashed on Frank Langella, I couldn't help but remember his running naked in Lolita.

Was Beyonce lip-synching and "does the Pope sh*t in the woods?" as someone in my party asserted.

We loved Meryl Streep's gunbattle gray dress and elegant hair.

Sean Penn can call me a "commie, homo-loving son of a gun" anytime. His butt looked great in jeans throughout Milk. Oscar for his butt's performance alone.

The shot of Angelina during Jennifer Aniston's presentation was gross.

As I thought, PC awards to all! Harvey Milk won over a rueful wrestler. Twin Towers, poverty in India, cleft palates, Nazi Germany and its horrors, and a dead actor (who really should have won for Brokeback Mountain!). Not that I'm complaining--just noticing a long-time trend!