It saddens me that director Kevin Smith was kicked off my favorite airline, Southwest, for being fat. Don't they know fat people are The Best on planes? Not only are Fatties nicer because they feel bad for taking up space and are uncomfortable themselves, they provide an excellent cushion between you and the ground. If the plane begins to plunge, grab Fatty and hold on. Chances are, you'll survive. Fatty will also protect you from terrorists since he/she provides an easier target. While you sleep, you can use Fatty's fleshy shoulder as a pillow and since he/she is practically in your seat, you won't have to lean over too much and creak your neck. What's better than sitting next to one Fatty? Getting wedged between TWO Fatties. It's like having a parent's warmth as you sit in a frightening aluminum tube that hurls through space with drunk people at the controls! As payment for his/her service, I will give Fatty all my food since I don't eat and fly. Keep eating and meet Dish in the Exit Row. Airlines, you have your heads up your skinny asses.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Kevin Smith Can Always Fly Dish Airlines
It saddens me that director Kevin Smith was kicked off my favorite airline, Southwest, for being fat. Don't they know fat people are The Best on planes? Not only are Fatties nicer because they feel bad for taking up space and are uncomfortable themselves, they provide an excellent cushion between you and the ground. If the plane begins to plunge, grab Fatty and hold on. Chances are, you'll survive. Fatty will also protect you from terrorists since he/she provides an easier target. While you sleep, you can use Fatty's fleshy shoulder as a pillow and since he/she is practically in your seat, you won't have to lean over too much and creak your neck. What's better than sitting next to one Fatty? Getting wedged between TWO Fatties. It's like having a parent's warmth as you sit in a frightening aluminum tube that hurls through space with drunk people at the controls! As payment for his/her service, I will give Fatty all my food since I don't eat and fly. Keep eating and meet Dish in the Exit Row. Airlines, you have your heads up your skinny asses.
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3 comments:
I hate fatties on a plane. Dish your tiny, imagine being 6 feet tall with broad shoulders sitting in a seat that's just a bit to small for you and here comes "2 Ton Tessie" down the isle, eyeing the empty seat at your side... She squeezes her fat koos in between the armrests, which quickly disappear as she spills into your space like a 1950's science fiction frightfest.
They should be forced to purchase 2 seats!!!
I agree they should purchase two seats and not everyone likes to fly with fatties. I'm starting to turn on this whole issue because now Kevin Smith is getting all this attention and my ass (where all my brains are located) says he'll get offered a reality show.
MY ass wants a reality show.
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