Madonna is the new Jesus...

..and this week edged out Angelina in Celebrities Committing Selfless Acts. Madonna's no martyr, but this world is all about me, me, me so you don't need to die anymore. Today, Jesus's sacrifice would be televised on the Internets or mistaken for a suicide mission. To make a collossal difference, you have to appear in a Please Vote (for Obama) ad on TV, be seen accepting calls on a telethon stage, hammering nails into a house in New Orleans, or crying as you witness Japanese fishermen killing dolphins (coinciding with your show's premiere). Celebrities shine a light on the issues while promoting their sensitive hearts (and albums). Really, I don't mind it and why not compel your fame toward the greatest good? Madonna used her Me-ness to help two gay men get released from prison in Malawi. Their crime: being gay. Go, Madonna! She has done good for a very long time so I don't mind any me-ness. We in Chelsea are screaming her praises (of course, we do this anyway).