Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Nine = De-Lovely 2

Dizzy from bad movies tried to watch. Couples Retreat: Unwatchable, even with Jean Reno wearing a Speedo. :(

Second stinker: Nine. I know--this means a death sentence from Gayville but I can't be silent! So many divas in one movie usually means trouble (exception: The Women and Steel Magnolias). This one had so many gloomy ballads and fall-asleep performances. Daniel Day's Italian accent and narcissism loosened the blockage in my intestines. I might have liked this show had I seen Antonio Banderas, whose charisma is 2-die-4. One bright spot: Kate Hudson is FANTASTIC!

Gossip: How strange that Tiger Woods's #1 mistress = David Boreanaz mistress. Mistress + $$$ = ho. I'm just saying. Wasn't Rachel Uchitel once the posterchild for lost fiancees of 9/11 victims? Kendra Wilkinson--famous for her spreads with Playboy and Hugh Hefner--might have a sex tape released, just in time for her to show off baby weight loss. Judge Judy is far more interesting, and if I can venture some perviness, far more alluring because of her true accomplishments. You never know, she might sport a banging bikini bod under those robes. Today, on The View, she scoffed at the latest celebrity craze to admit sex addiction. She attributes it to poor zipper impulse control. Can you imagine JFK going to rehab for sex addiction? He was too busy running the country. Soon, we'll dream up rehab for those who only like to park the car in one garage.

I need a disorder, y'all.

5 comments:

J.J. said...

You stupid koos! NINE is a beautiful & entertaining film! I think you didn't like it cause you don't have a cock!

Dish Upon a Star said...

If I'd had one, I would have aimed it the screen and unleashed hell!

J.J. said...

If you had one you'd never leave the house...

Dish Upon a Star said...

That's true.

DBSK said...

May I recommend 'It's Complicated' to Dish? with Meryl and Alec (who make a very cute couple). An easy movie when all you want is eat ice cream, knit and relax in front of the tv.