Blubber

I've wanted to address Oprah's fat for weeks now. Oprah is always beautiful and I'm freaked out by all the attention she gets from her diets. I prefer Fat Oprah to Skinny Oprah. Let's call a Twinkie a Twinkie: She's never going to be a stick and shouldn't try. If she can be healthy, what else does she need? I say: buy roomy clothes, move more, eat less and smile. It's hard to keep the weight off when you age and sit on a couch interviewing people. My butt has doubled in size from ten years ago. Take heart, fat-asses: Perez Hilton included an article on his blog about how female butt fat shows you're healthy, so I'll continue to bump into floor lamps and tables, thank you very much. With all the angst over the Gaza strip, I'm so not caring about Oprah's love handles.

New topic: Relationships involve a certain amount of diaper-changing. Superman is our activity planner and I make sure he looks both ways before flying around busy airspace. Lately, it seems as if we focus entirely on his crime-fighting life. I've been okay with this since that means we don't have to focus on mine. A miracle occurred. Backstory: Months ago, I told Superman that January 8th was the worst day of my life. I said it once and figured he forgot. Surprise of all time--he called me to ask me about my emotional state (which is perky) and wants to take me out tonight. I feel loved. This beats the fact that I no longer fit into my favorite pants from 15 years ago!