Thursday, May 29, 2008

Don't Rent the Following:

Some of us love Matthew Perry despite his lack of chin. If you want to keep that love alive, don't rent Numb. It's so stinky, you'll beg for those 94 minutes back. Poor privileged Hollywood writer--who doesn't ever write but his severely-eyebrow-tweezed partner Kevin Pollock does--has Dis-something Disorder where he doesn't feel. I wonder, is some girl's gonna try to enliven him and he won't appreciate her till she's gone? This special, lucky girl is quirky--likes to say f&ck all the time. But even though she swears a lot and is a horrible trumpet-player, she draws the line at his shoplifting pens. My favorite is the last-minute rush to the airport to tell her he does love her--let's overlook his shtupping Mary Steenburgen repeatedly, even though he didn't feel it. She's checking in and he blurts out his feelings. It's just so real. Every romantic moment I've ever had involved the dude jumping in a cab and rushing to deflect my spontaneous flight to Yemen (at 100 Yemen Road, in Yemen). My guess is this went straight to video. Bring back Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip!

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