Saturday, June 30, 2012

Happy Birthday, Dishmama!

Today she is on a jet plane, arriving way past her bedtime. We are at a loss how to celebrate when the goddess herself is in the air. I dove headlong into a movie marathon:

Safe House: Ryan Reynolds is an excellent action hero and he proves he can act in this thrill-packed CIA chase-reel. Denzel does his usual slick masterful mentor thing, killing some soldiers along the way. Predictable, repetitive, but what else is there? If you like watching things go boom, rent immediately. I loved it.

Young Adult: Another wit-tastic flick from Diablo Cody's pen. The sad thing is that I identified too much with the Charlize character, except I would never go back to my hometown to throw a big hissy over my first love. Life is hell. Charlize is perfect.

The Dictator: Far less irritating than Bruno or Borat. I laughed all the way through and enjoyed TG's hysterics. It was a nice change from his bitching at me to walk on the shady side of the street on our way to Union Square.

Mirror Mirror: I'm bewildered by how bad this is. I can't even stomach Julia. I hope she's screaming at whoever chose this project, even if it's to a mirror. I'm 10 minutes in, feeling that Julia needs Dish's help STAT to revive her career. I want her in an urban movie, playing a cold, beautiful socialite and screwing the daylights out of someone hot and not Tom Hanks. We've only seen her have sex in Sleeping with the Enemy (it made me uncomfortable) but it's time to shake things up and go for a less predictably Julia project (which is usually unpredictable, so by that, I would choose something I would predict she wouldn't choose).

The same advice for Tom Cruise--a career overhaul to deal with this next phase of life. No spacesuit or law enforcement stories. He was awesome in Rock of Ages but the movie seems to be tanking. Maybe the world doesn't want to see him shirtless anymore. I think he's brilliant when he wears a suit in a movie (Jerry Maguire, Lion for Lambs, Collateral). If his social life is going to hell, maybe Oscar should be his next goal.


DM said...

Thank you, Ms. Dish. Have landed 2 am because of an aborted take-off, just to provide the birthday thrill everyone should experience.

Dish said...

Holy sh*tballs, Dishmama! You have NOT been having good plane luck this summer. Thank the cosmic goddess you are on Terra Firma!