Not in Cleveland

Dish had horrible nightmares of living in Crack Den, Ohio (gag!) in the worst possible hotel with a baby I had to protect. I kept going to the wrong floor, confronting thugs with guns until I finally escaped and ran to an oil company where they took good care of me. I kept having to go back into the den.

I blame Deepak Chopra for this dream since right before achieving sweet slumber, I found TWO typos in his book Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul, on p. 172 and 173. I expected more from you, Deepak. My soul was about to be resurrected, but you sent me back to Cleveland.

Today's skinny involves more Katie and Tom. It turns out, she's left Tom to be closer to Dish instead of Scientology. I know exactly where she's living, which means more trips to dreaded Whole Foods where I can spy*. I will at least let her know I'm available for babysitting (as long as Suri knows how to clean).

Alec Baldwin went gingie** to get married to his alluring--seemingly zen--yoga instructor Hilaria Thomas. They are a cute couple, for reals. Even Woody attended the event! Despite his condemnation of the media, A-Bald sold the wedding pics to People. Deep down, I'm happy for them if love resurrects their souls and renders him less batsh*t. Not so deep down, I compile the evidence that he's probably a big mess (though also brilliant and a celebrity, so much latitude needed, please). Why not just ignore paps who try to bait him? I hope Yoga helps calm him down. Or age does it.

*I won't do this. I hate going to Whole Foods.
**Oh, how Christian Grey of you, Alec. Dyeing is the man's facelift.