Divorces, Babies, and Lawsuits, Oh My!

So much has happened! The world spins over such IMPORTANT OCCURRENCES. First the good news:

Sandra Bullock is single again. We can go back to normal life again where she made romantic comedies rather than dramas (really bad ones during her Jesse James period). I'm glad she got her Oscar but I hope she'll focus now on making us laugh.

Today Dr. Oz showed us all how to remove ear wax. Get rid of the Q-tips and have someone drop baby oil into your ear. This will loosen up the wax. Guess what TG's new job is?

Not so much bad as silly:

Diandra Douglas is suing Michael Douglas for profits on Wall Street 2. It sounds ridiculous and greedy but good work if you can get it. Sue your ex-husband while your boy is in jail for drug dealing. Someone has to keep her in plastic surgery.

The US soccer star with the receding hairline Landon Donovan was making us all schmoopie with his romantic reunion with his estranged wife during the World Cup. But some UK babe now claims she's carrying his baby. He only made that goal from a penalty kick and not from actual shots on goal. I may be killed for saying this but Ghana deserved to win. Dish's Law: Athletes are dogs.

Drama:

Last night during the BET Awards, pop singing sensation and girlfriend-beater Chris Brown did a six-minute tribute to late pop singing sensation and boy-loving Michael Jackson. Talented Brown became MJ and, while touching to see his breakdown during "Man in the Mirror," Dish is stunned to realize that the world will forgive him for beating Rihanna black and blue. Public acts of contrition do wonders.

Jennifer Capriati "accidentally" ODed on prescription medication. There's a wave of that going around with celebs, often leading to death. Hope she hangs in there and gets back into tennis!