Monday, September 20, 2010

We Need You*

I won't hire violins to play "Rio" at my wedding. Taking up an instrument and recording it myself would ruin everything. My ponytail-musician cousin is on the road with Bob Schneider so he's no help. Can't do another Google search of "Duran Duran" and "elevator music." I just want a recording. Duran Duran or silence.

Divorce gets ugly as Stephanie Seymour fights her OMP ex in court. Stephanie was always my favorite Victoria's Secret model--in the days when she was on Axl's arm. In the catalog, she always posed as if she wanted it up the ass. I bought many a sheer nightie and fishnet stocking thanks to her.

Welcome back to Cindy Adams who returns to the Post after four months in a hospital. I missed her bitching!

Booze-addled wrestler Chyna was rushed to the hospital this morning for alcohol poisoning and Lindsay is under arrest. Alex from the Dr. Phil family gave birth to a meth baby. Thanks to Ted's experience on QAF, Dish could never do meth. Math is another story.

*a good alternative if "Rio" doesn't work, though I'm this close to giving up.

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