Dish Is Losing Sleep from All the Drama!!!

Oh God, The Bachelor franchise is beyond bananas right now. Just when I think the waters are calm, evil Courtney and rejected Arie were caught canoodling in Phoenix together! Worlds are colliding. This coupling is far too physically appropriate to be believed. We know Arie was on the verge of skankitown (which is why we wanted him for Emily!) and Courtney is crazy/evil so they're perfect. I still don't like it! In other news, Jef and Emily are done, which means she's now open to Arie or whomever. Who will be Emily's next fiance???? The Bachelor whose eyes are so close together, the one who married his 2nd choice, well, they're knocked up. There, I'm done!

I read that Sean Penn went to a Madonna concert, which made me so happy. I wish they'd get back together. They are soul mates, then, now and forever.

Rest in peace, Gary Collins. How I remember him fondly from his Love Boat and Fantasy Island days. He was also married to Mary Ann Mobley. I learned from them what Irritable Bowel Syndrome was, which to me back then, sounded just like a lot of sh*tting. Now IBS is like PTSD. Everyone has it and MAM was brave to come forward.

Dish is fighting a stress headache and stomach knot. I'll crawl through this hell somehow by smelling the soothing aroma of lavender along with pharmaceuticals but I won't go all Whitney and screaming into my pillowlistening to Enya.