I love it when the stars sue the tabs
Today, I'm shedding tears for Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez who allegedly was discarded by Eva Langoria. How did he lose her? With a mug like his, I don't see how he'll ever find love again. Plus, he's a wallflower with no money or prospects for greatness. What chance did he ever have to sip the nectar of Cupid's sweet amore? Will this affect his throwing arm? There go the waterworks again.
In more celebrity splits, Jessica Simpson's mom and dad are divorcing and there are gay rumors floating about the father. All I remember is Papa Joe discussing Jessica's virginity and how she gave her husband--then, Nick Lachey--her precious gift and I thought, ew.
Bobby Brown bust for DUI again. It's his prerogative.