Entry

Dear Diary,

Went to Victoria's Secret--check
Locked myself out of building by leaving keys in mailbox--check
Took a moment of silence to pray that the Star's claim of Angelina's pregnancy is false--check
Ate 5 Butterfingers Easter Eggs--check
At gym, ran into mild celebrity who once checked out my online personal ad--check
Didn't spend a dime on food--check
About to watch Mistress/Goddess Kathy Griffin--check
Watched The Real Housewives of New York last night and was HORRIFIED--check--okay, I'll list the following outrages:

1. Jill bought a 16K purse the same shade of lipstick I used to wear in the 70s (yes, I looked like a 10 y.o streetwalker). Then she got a new SUV--all for her birthday. I used to like her but now I think she's got her head up her ass.
2. I signed off two weeks ago on LuAnne--the pity for her impending divorce forgotten--when she asked a group of underprivileged schoolchildren if they knew what a "countess" was and then told an overweight girl/aspiring model that she needed to lose weight.
3. Kelly was never my favorite because she can't speak ("To be honest with you...", "Honestly..."), her skin is strange, and she picks fights where none are needed. Last night's ridiculousness had her showing off how she likes to run in the streets, being "out there", clad in jog-wear, hair flowing all over AND JOGGING IN FRONT OF SLOWLY TRAILING CARS!!! If Dish did that, she'd be run over in two seconds! Is this New York? More like Fantasy Land!
4. Ramona is batsh*t crazy and mean, the girl who's friends with you, then stabs you in the eye with a fork.
5. Alex, I might be able to handle since she's smart.
6. My money is on Bethenny, who seems to work like a dog. Though if rumors are true that she's dating A-Rod, I'm done.

I say, there should be a new show: The Real Women of New York Who Live on Planet Earth and Don't Cultivate Tired Stereotypes of High School Bitches We're So Over.