Making My Brown Eyes Blue--And Not Just From Cataracts

You think Dish is all about TV, movies and stars. Well, I'm not. I'm an intellectual. My glasses are on, spine straight and I'm focused on Tina Brown's informative tome, The Diana Chronicles. It's important for me to know what Prince Charles likes when he orgasms (to be called "Arthur"). When I look at this pic, I think, "What was she thinking?" It's like Beauty and the Man-Who-Went-Through-a Pencil-Sharpener. Though I did have a little crush on Arthur when I was 11. Immediately after I finish this tacky tale, I'll launch into Perez Hilton's Red Carpet Suicide, which will enlighten me in a literary way about entertainment. My fluff reading is the Huffington Post's book about blogging, as if I need to know anything else.

So yes, I'm a great reader and certainly not playing Dateline (I miss Stone Phillips) in the background to learn about that Michigan woman who disappeared. Not even a little.