Off With Her Head!

In Dish family legend, Anne Boleyn is our relative. What better way to celebrate her than to watch The Tudors (pronounced Tee-oo-dahs) starring that little sexy beast Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Though, he makes me laugh the way he storms around, banging babes and pretending to be super in love with Anne. You know Henry and Thomas More and the Pope (Shout out to excellent Peter O'Toole) are having a gay old time together running Europe and throwing back buckets of red wine. Even funnier is that Henry VIII is supposed to look more like John Goodman and not hunkalicious Jonathan. Unless being married made him explode later with his twenty chins. I've seen it happen 100 times. In any case, I'm watching, knowing my little upstart trollop relative will get her head chopped off eventually. He just got rid of his cougar first wife Catherine of Aragon, though I would have gotten sick of her too with all her Jesus talk. Plus, she seemed like such a downer. Anne was funner, perkier and knew The Rules (i.e. abstain from sex as much as possible, act like you don't care about the man, and pretend to be a virgin). Right now, Henry, sporting a Prince mustache circa 1986, is trying to cop a feel but Anne puts him off. Way to go!

Update: Dishmama assured me that we are, in fact, related to Anne. She's like my great-grandmother practically. Does this mean I can marry Prince William?