Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Must Convert to Hinduism IMMEDIATELY!

I had it all wrong! Julia never had plastic surgery or Botox. She said so in Elle. Instead, she looks amazing because she converted to Hinduism. Dish tried very hard to do the same but Wikipedia's description of Hinduism was so long and boring I gave up around 3,000,00 B.C. If Eat Pray Love is amazing, I'll try again to convert. My journey will be: Eat, Hemorrhage, Obsess.

Talk about obsess, my new thing is celebrating the majestic yet unprofessional yet necessary actions of former JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater toward the jackass passenger who pushed his last button. I hope his case is dropped. Talk show circuit/reality show comes next.

Fantasia, not the movie, OD-ed on aspirin and a sleep aid because of stress of dating a married man. I hear you, honey, but why the aspirin? Trying to prevent a heart attack? Another mess: Kelsey Grammer caught kissing blonde woman, weeks after wife filed divorce papers. It's rumored the blonde had a bump. I have a bump too, on my forehead from taking fish oil supplements. They don't tell you it turns your skin into an oil well. Help me, Julia.

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