Where's Mariska Hargitay When I Need Her?

Spotted, Steven Tyler topless in Maui. He has a perky set of man-hooters.

After mostly taking an all-nighter due to the scary rantings of a lunatic (every one has a few of these, am I right?), I woke to the police knocking on my door. Two of New York's finest were cordial and asking if I knew about the sweet old lady next door and could I find the super to open her door for them. Dish to the rescue! They even used my facilities. Long story short, the sweet old lady had died a few days before. I'm not sure why this makes me happy. Maybe because she's in a better place, is probably happier now. She was quite ill and lived by herself. It puts the lunatics into perspective. TG is sad he missed all the fun, though I'm sure he would have gotten more involved in transporting the body and wondering about switching apartments.

When Dish hears about The Bachelor contestants threatening to rip a %*($*'s face off, the DVR must be set to record. Ben seems functional as this year's bachelor, a bit too Beta but most definitely the lovechild of Keanu and Nadal. I already know who should win (Kacie, the administrative assistant) and who's too batshit crazy (that blogger chick) to stay but will to keep the show interesting, which it's not.

Sandra Bernhard hates on Kathy Griffin which is beyond stupid. Jealous much of Kathy's success? I do enjoy them both but loathe when women bash each other like this, glorifying themselves by crucifying another which always backfires.