Under the Wire

Almost midnight. Dish has been party central but never too busy to think about the stars. Today, I needed to iron so I watched The Love Guru, which stunk almost as hard as Glitter--though Mariah entertains me for the wrong reasons. Love when she has that sideways ponytail and thinks she's all hip. Dishmama used to do that to my hair when I was two and it worked for me. In The Love Guru, Mike Meyers stars as Austin Powers who acts as a Deepak Chopra knockoff (overstepping); Jessica Alba just smiled in a disposable role as the hot young love interest to a much older and unattractive man (typical!); Justin Timberlake played a character who had a big shlong (exciting); Ben Kingsley was kinda funny mostly because he was cross-eyed; Mini Me was mercilessly ridiculed with short jokes; and Stephen Colbert couldn't help but sparkle no matter what stupid words were given to him. Though I was mildly entertained in some areas, thank goodness I was ironing otherwise I would have turned it off.

So that's the weekend so far. I'm gazing at my homemade Gale Harold coaster, who has a little splotch of latte on his forehead, and counting the days until his return to Desperate Housewives. Can you tell I'm desperate?