Facebook said my celebrity boyfriend is Colin Farrell and I instantly caught Chlamydia. But happiness returns now that I've seen Loretta Swit play a Soviet inspector of cruise ships on The Love Boat. Loretta tries to boink Dr. Bricker (um, ewww) as a sexier and less drunk seeming Robert Goulet woos Juliet Mills-pre-Maxwell-Caufield. Suddenly, I'm ten.Madonna is adopting again (kinda like she adopted Rupert Everett after the wild success of My Best Friend's Wedding--Malawi is SO in right now--only to make the sh*t sandwhich that I secretly love The Next Best Thing--okay, maybe it's not at all the same thing, Dish has too much free time to think absurd thoughts) but at least she's not hurting anyone. Mercy James will have a better life. She already has a cool name. Madonna should descend on the octoplets next.
Dish is considering Twittering. Will you follow?
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