Really? That's the Best People Magazine Could Do?

For the last several years, People Magazine has chosen the most boring star possible as Sexiest Man Alive. This year is no different with Johnny Depp who wouldn't know a brush if one fell on him. Of course, Dish loves him. He can do any part, makes "interesting choices," and doesn't go the pretty boy route. He famously ignores the press, going so far as to live in France. But beyond his movies, he's not the name on everyone's lips, therefore irrelevant. He's not destroying hotel rooms, getting engaged once a week or inciting squeals from teenage girls. Why can't they pick someone who's under 40?

My choice for Sexiest Man: Chaz Bono. I kid. Maybe that's not funny. Okay, it isn't. Actually, what about Obama? Okay, that's not funny either. Last try: Robert Pattinson. New Moon is about to come out, hormonal moms are squealing over him along with their teenage daughters. Dish thinks someone stepped on his face but is big enough to deem him Dish's Sexiest Man Alive (when it really should go to a Purrelled Gerard Butler, Jon Hamm and Gale Harold--a triple decker sexiest man sandwich).