Dish did important celebrity research, Googling "Jennifer Aniston, Gerard Butler, canoodling, Golden Globes." Turns out the iciness between them masked secret make-out sessions in the kitchen and all over the Globes. "Antler" -- the perfect mesh of Aniston and Butler -- was in full force. My question: Did Aniston coat herself in a light sheen of Purrell before she allowed him to touch her? Gerry allegedly eyed Kate Hudson at the same event, citing a crush. For future debauchery, Jennifer should apply two coats of Purrell and five condoms.The Globes had champagne and chocolate at the tables. Champagne creates far worse halitosis than beer, therefore using the transitive property, Gerry's sweat reaked worse than usual, only to vaporize from repeated baths where sage is burned, virgins are sacrificed and goats gutted. Aniston might have ignored the smell by inhaling massive quantities of chocolate (Ex-Lax?). Chocolate breath is even worse than champagne and beer breath.
(Of course, Dish loves Gerry and Jen! I wish he would knock her up.)
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