Friday, January 29, 2010

Smurfy!

The reasons why I don't want to see Avatar:

Bad James Cameron dialogue.
Those blue people scare me, like talking animals and conjoined twins.
I don't want to learn a new blue-people language.
I've seen enough James Cameron movies.
Special effects slow the pacing.
It's a million hours long and my ass can't take it.
He's King of the World again; I want him to fail ONCE.

Why I will go:

Because everyone's seeing it and I'm in eighth grade.
If I'm at a celebrity cocktail party, I have to say I thought Avatar was "great."
Sigourney Weaver is a good reason to plop down 12$.
James Cameron's wife (the one he boinked while with Linda Hamilton), Suzy Amis, is a redhead and is pretty, natural-looking.
TG wants to see it and I've made him watch a lot of crap.
I want to know what those Smurfs do with their tails.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Please write a column for the Post, Daily News, Gawker, Daily Beast. With a bigger audience, we'll find out the truth about the Smurfs. Thank you, Dish.

HersheyKiss said...

Anything that keeps KissSideKick silent and in awe for 3 hours is totally rocking. Not to mention that it is indeed a phenomenal cinematic experience.