Happy Birthday, Lisa Rinna!!!

My favorite recovering lip-filler addict Ass Lips Lisa Rinna turns 49 today and I'm pleased as punch her age is a perfect square. Don't you know how into math I am? Where have you been? I adore Lisa. She's always so perky and positive about life--a true delight. Her TV movies and appearances charm the daylights out of me. She may grab any chance for the spotlight but WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? Happy Birthday, Lisa! Please join the cast of Dallas pronto. J.R. needs some sexing up (or knock off Bobby's boring wife, at least)...Or wait, hit that J.R. jr, STAT. Lisa, I know that in one slick move you could break Jordana Brewster in half and mount that slightly fem Jonathan Rhys Meyer doppleganger. That is small potatoes for a luscious goddess such as yourself. Do it as soon as you blow out those candles! Harry can watch.