Monday, July 23, 2012

The Bachelorette: Spoiler

Up to the last minute, 10:03pm, I waited for Emily to change her mind and choose Arie. His face may be sweaty, have less-than-clear skin (been there), he may not have the steadiest job, but he's way cuter and the chemistry! Emily didn't listen to my psychic pleadings. Despite this, my subconscious remains a placid lake of acceptance. I did, after all, invent a new drinking game: Every time Jef and Em say "like", take a shot. It makes the badness I don't really drink go away. I will erase all knowledge that I've wasted the last two months by watching tonight's Bachelor Pad. Many of the uggos from this season are on. Plus, three words: Blakely's Massive Chompers.


dishcousin said...

It's so distressing to have been drawn into watching yet another dreadful season of Bachelorette. What is wrong with me? I am leaving the country to atone for all that wasted time. Not to return until late August. I'm going to a place with some even worse TV, but I won't watch any of it. Cross my heart.

Anonymous said...

Turn off the television everyone.

Dish said...

Mom, Dishcousin is a sophisticated and educated prof and with all the high-brow stuff she has to read, she NEEDS The Bachelorette. I have no excuse.

Who's the one who can't get enough of Colin Firth?????

Dish said...

Oh wait, Anonymous. You may not be my mother since she would include a comma of direct address. Or maybe the omission is her disguise!

dishcousin said...

If Anonymous is your mom, that comma omission is very clever.

But more importantly, what happened to the other 'f' in 'Jeff'? Who names a kid 'Jef'? And what's with Emily pronouncing words such as 'hey' with two syllables? Hey-ya. As in, "Hey-ya, Jef." Drove me crazy--but I watched anyway, of course. Why has no one discussed this??

Dish said...

I was obsessing about the hey-ya, too!!! OMG, we are practically the same person, Dishcousin, only I'm less blond and statuesque.

Jef is 12 years old! He came in on a skateboard!!! I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW HE MADE IT THIS FAR! Do you think Arie will be the next Bachelor?

Dish is venting.

dishcousin said...

She wanted someone with a lot of money and that ranch in Utah did it for her. I knew she'd pick him after she saw that spread.

I'm so glad to get that "-ya" thing off my chest. The way she spoke was incredibly annoying and I never saw anything written about it--and I looked.

(Thanks for all the kind words, beautiful Dish.)