Miss Advised Is My New Crack!

My attempt to wean off reality has FAILED. Matchmakers/love and sexperts trying to sort out their love problems? I'm IN! How does one become a sexpert, by the way? The idea makes me tired but I'm just curious. Can you tell I'm not 25? Who asked you?

Miss Advised has me under a spell. I can't resist San Francisco sexpert Emily with her foray into non-traditional relationships. Sexperts always seem clinical and uninterested in sex, so I wondered about her visit with the polyamorous hippies from the last episode. I adore how LA-based Julia goes to witches to get herself out of her love funk*. DISH DID THE SAME THING in 1995 with great results. To sort out life's questions, I still seek out the woo-woo. Amy, based in NYC, is a fierce Rules girl who keeps breaking The Rules--which we all do. My only beef with her is her bad NYC lighting and how she sneaks in former Bachelor Lorenzo, as her "guy friend." Yeah, my guy friend is Brad Pitt. Do you think we won't notice? Lorenzo may not want to nail her but let's not pretend he's normal and uninterested in extending his 15 minutes. Does Bravo think we're amateurs?

I hope all three women find what they're looking for**. Ya never know when it bites you in the ass. I mean that in the best possible way.

*Stop kissing boys first, especially when blottoed.
**Though Julia, Amy, and Emily are cool enough just by themselves.