Dear Gale Harold,After four years, I must end our imaginary relationship. I still love you with all my heart but you're not ambitious and callous enough for me. I can't watch any more of your indie movies and my flower needs water in order to grow. On a superficial level, your lips have touched Teri Hatcher's and I can't get past this. Not only that, well, you've changed since you dislocated your shoulder and sustained brain swelling after your motorcycle accident. I've pulled out my hairs trying to love a daredevil with a fleet of motorcycles and my heart can't take the pain--especially after Keanu's many scrapes. I need consistent affection. I need someone who won't horrify me by growing facial hair. I need box office regularity. Most of all, I need a man named after my favorite cold cut--Jon Hamm. Sure, everyone covets his lusciousness but my love is true. Jon is mine (until you get your act together because let's face it, I'm easy). No protests if you decide to visit my dreams. I know it's hard to give me up.
Yours 2005-2009 (and after I break up with Jon)
Dish
3 comments:
It will likely take time to mend your heart after such a heated romance for so many years. Please know that you have all of my support, along with a shoulder to cry on! Be strong, Dish. Make us proud.
We feel your pain.
I'm watching Queer As Folk, eating Ding Dongs...and remembering the good times. *sniff*
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