Big Swinging Dicks

I'm so tempted to bring out my ruler. There's all this talk about Jay Leno moving to later and pushing Conan O'Brien to midnight or beyond. The Oracle of Dish foretold a huge disaster putting JL on five times a week, edging out better shows. Can't you imagine these NBC executives (I envision a mix of good-looking empty shells and nerds who've never been laid and are now so pissed) sitting in a plush conference room, dreaming up ideas that are hopelessly out of touch with viewers? Conan is like one of the 101 Dalmatians trudging through the cold, trying to find shelter. It saddens me since Conan is funnier than that joker! Not to mention, he and Dish took the same flight to Toronto on Air Canada, so we're bonded for life. If you ask Dish, the wisest course is to put Craig Ferguson and Conan as close as possible to each other and let tries-too-hard Jay work on his freaking cars.

To paraphrase Shirley MacLaine in Postcards from the Edge: It's so important for Conan to have his turn. Jay has had his!