Sunday, April 25, 2010

Ugly Sexy Money

I forgot to report Langdon met porn icon Ron Jeremy. My insides rebel when I hear of imperfect stars having sex and this one bangs often. But Langdon assured me that Ron has a special je-ne-sais-quoi that transcends the less-than-leading-man looks. Plus, there's his huge wang. Cleopatra was allegedly hideous with a massive honker. I remember being shocked that Justin Timberlake and Gene Simmons could be sex icons when one looks like a baby lemur and the other has brillo pad hair. Then I watched Family Jewels and was mesmerized. I get it now. Also if looks and personality don't exist, there's always money to float someone's boat (Hugh Hefner, Donald Trump, Paris Hilton, John Mayer, Snooki). Dish has tested this and the results are: you earn every penny if you're with someone who lacks je-ne-sais-quoi.

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