Sunday, May 20, 2012

Review of New Year's Eve: Rent If You Want to Cry and Go Awwwwww

The truth: If you paid 13$ to see New Year's Eve (I almost did), the syrupy disappointment might still be gurgling in your intestines. Maybe I'm overstating since I love Garry Marshall movies as a rule. Go ahead and rent this derivative sucker. It was better than Valentine's Day--like way better. It didn't have Julia this time but Michelle Pfeiffer makes up for this. Pfeiffer tries to be dowdy, FAILS MISERABLY at it while charming Zac Efron, who is a delight from A to Zac*. Ashton and Lea Michele are sexy together (imagine that) yet Jessica Biel needs to find her heart-light again. She just doesn't look animated or maybe I just was too impressed by her performance in that magician movie. Maybe she needs to crawl out from behind the Justin rock and work more. Bottom line: The whole she-bang is a rip-off of Love Actually, especially the beginnings and endings (someone should look into this). The mediocrity didn't stop me from suddenly bursting into tears as Hilary Swank was reunited with her father (I have daddy issues). Bon Jovi is lovable though playing an asexual ween in the red leather jacket Nancy Reagan wore in the 80s. The last vignette--the big twist--is beyond ludicrous. So when can I watch it again? I think I have 24 hours left on my rental. In two hours, it'll become my favorite movie of all time, knocking Jaws on its fin. New drinking game: Every time someone mentions a ball dropping, giggle then do a shot.

In more love news: Mark Zuckerberg married Priscilla Chan. So glad he waited until after the IPO because it must have been stressful before.

A special healing prayer goes out to Dishfavorite, Nile Rodgers, who is very sick. He is battling the big C and still touring like a rock star.

*Their dancing scene at the end is worth at least 13$ theater ticket.

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