I tried to ignore the bartender when she said there would be 2 opening bands for ZZ Top. I just wanted to get the concert over with. Their beards have always seemed unhygienic so I never "got" them. I steeled myself for the night.
Sporting a glitzy belt, form fitting jeans and black tank Gretchen Wilson opened with "I got your c*ntry right here" or at least that's what I think it was. She was cute, delivering no mixed signals. After her bit, I looked to my left and noticed a person with *that* glow. I whispered to TG, "that's a celebrity." I didn't know which one until the next band took the stage--the guitarist for Three Doors Down.
Their act made my sternum vibrate violently. Thank Hesus for the earplugs because each song was an assault. Since we couldn't talk, I texted TG, "These guys are big p*ssies." He felt the same way and we rode the wave of pain for 45 minutes. I might have liked them on disc but the loudness, some missed notes, and the thrashing made me hate them. I thought I was going to die, even telling TG I might have to dash back to our dive hotel to cry it out. I had my exit strategy. I was so ready to bail, flight not fight, even with the tranquilizer when they just kept playing.
Then ZZ Top saved our sh*tty night. As the yellow light caught those beards, Billy Gibbons's twig legs, and all three bodies moving in tandem, I knew it would be okay. They were a miracle and real pros. They played, danced a little, raked their beards in a performance whose every molecule screeched with awesomeness. These old dudes were even...shall I say...SEXY!!! Yes, they were. I am a rabid fan now. Am now looking through their videos and revising my history of indifference. I have always loved them. How could you not?
The lesson is: Even if you're not into ZZ Top, go see them. They are brilliant and guaranteed to lift your spirits.
Atlantic City is still gross.
Update: After research, saw that Three Doors Down's original guitarist, Matt Roberts, recently left due to health problems. Now I feel bad(ly).