Sunday, August 26, 2012

Snooki Is a Mom

I haven't broken the news to TG, that Snooki had a baby boy. His little girl is all grown up, a mama herself. The lambs are screaming in my head. I think she might be a good mother, after all.

Snooki named her boy Lorenzo. Reminds Dish fondly of the Oberlin, Ohio pizza joint by the same name. It added to my Freshman 15, making my ass into a large, flat caboose. Lorenzo's (and pitchers of Killian's Red) got me through college in the Ohio cornfields. Translating passages of Cicero also helped. I had to throw that in there, didn't I? Money well spent, Dishmama!

Florida is having a hurricane, postponing the Republican Convention. Randy Travis is melting down faster than you can say Wild Turkey. Duran Duran canceled another mega-gig due to illness. My hair is frizzier than ever. Mother Nature is PISSED off about something. I'm sticking 80% dark chocolate on my window sill so she leaves me the f*ck alone -- with all due respect.

Mentionitis: Duran Duran never cancels so keyboardist must be sick as a dog. Because I'm Dish, I can't help but think my panicked vibes from Friday caused this. I feel terrible about letting down the fans.

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