Saturday, August 11, 2012

Stars and Streps!

I'd say my illness this past week -- strep and something bronchial -- was #4 worst of all time. Lucky for me, I have TG, who's been an excellent nurse. Here are my top clashes with disease:

1. Stomach flu of 2007. After my three days in the bathroom, ExBF16 thought it appropriate to eat a falafel in my presence. Another three days ensued.

2. Strep of 1993. I was maid of honor at my BFF's wedding and could barely stand. My face went down onto my cake plate. I look great in the pictures, though.

3. Flu of 1994. During the winter olympics, I was so weak I called to reunite with the moronic ExBF5, who was so obsessed with his lesbian landlord he wound up in jail soon after.

4. Strep of 2012. Though TG gifted me with this one, he's been princely about bringing me tea, soup, and coaching me through coughing fits.

5. Flu of 1977. "This fish tastes like cinammon," I said at a large family dinner. Dishmamamama immediately hightailed my ass to bed and brought me liquids at 15 minute intervals. I was too scared to say I felt like sh*t but she spotted my WASP-y repressed agony immediately.

6. Yuletide stomach flu of 1995: Merry freaking Christmas!

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